PK IN SWEDEN

PK IN SWEDEN

Saturday, June 8, 2013

AN OLDER MAN'S THOUGHTS ON CHANGE

The times...are a changing- that's for sure-and they're changing at a mind-boggling rate. My father died in 1977, which wasn't all that long ago, but he would be an alien in our world today.

Many of the changes have been good. We're living longer; we're healthy longer; and we have an incredible number of toys to entertain us. In fact. the sheer number of choices available today, whether we're talking about television channels, bar soaps (make that body lotions) or fast food restaurants, is actually overwhelming.  In the "old days," we watched television without cable, wrote letters by hand, and called others by dialing telephones that were connected to land lines.  There were no GPS makers (so we often got lost) and there were no cell phones (so we said goodbye when we left in the morning and hello when we arrived home at night). Thanks to technology, we are living longer and we are better entertained while we live.

More importantly, sexual roles that had endured from the beginning of time came under assault and began to change in the 60s. Women went to work outside the home and families generated more wealth, which enabled them to pay for the two-car garage they then needed. This single change changed many other things, from fashion to childcare, and introduced us to sexual harassment issues. The only social change of greater consequence (arguably) was the Civil Rights movement.  My father was alive when it all began, but he would have really struggled with affirmative action and a black President, not to mention the recent Cheerio's commercial which showed an interracial couple kissing.

Our language has changed too. There are many new words and some words, like "mouse" and "gay," have taken on new meaning. We have more civility in the public arena because of political correctness, but on the other hand, we are bombarded with words that would have made George Carlin blush. Political correctness is silly at times, but it's better than crass labels and name calling. In any event, we can't reflect on change without mentioning technology and social media. In my father's time, we heard the news from two or three white men- some parts of the country did not receive ABC and Fox was just a twinkle in what's his name's eye-and we heard it once a day, for 20 minutes. Now, we watch networks that have political agendas of their own, and we can live for years without ever hearing a view that is different from our own.  What is more-we can access hundreds of stories and opinions with unprecedented speed, and we never quite know whether the author actually knows what he or she is talking about. The amount and rate of change is confusing for a man who is now 67.

I try to keep up, or at least I used to, before it became obvious that I wasn't going to succeed. It's a little embarrassing to become one of those who doesn't quite "get it," but what I am more concerned with is not what we've gained, but with what we've lost. We have gained much, but we are losing some important things. We live longer, but our lives our neither as wide nor as deep. While I was often "bored" during the summer, my friends and I were outside, and we were together. We became pretty good at making things happen, and we learned to communicate face-to-face. Now I see groups of people, not all youth, sitting together, each one fixated on the electronic device in their hands, sometimes texting one of the others in the group they're sitting with.  Perhaps I am just getting old, but I I worry about our love affair with impersonal and often, unaccountable, communication formats. I know family members- okay, they're mine- who answer text messages much more reliably that phone calls. I suspect this is because the conversation in more controllable, even though it is less vulnerable. Also, when I walked to one of my friend's houses as a youth, I was forced to listen to my own thoughts. I was forced to reflect and consider my life from time to time, whether I wanted to or not, and within that process, I had to struggle with my hopes, fears, and goals. Someone said that "an unexamined life is not worth living," but he lived in a world that was much less cluttered than ours is today.

Finally, I will add my voice to those who lament the loss of family time. Even in my troubled house, my brothers and I and my mother ate evening meals together, and sometimes, we would pop corn in a skillet and watch TV together, my father included. When we were in the house, we were expected to be visible and we wanted to be because being "sent to our room" was a punishment. In short, community, not isolation, was our norm, and I fear that, in a country that is noted for its individualism, community is what we need. In a shrinking and more diverse world, we need more community, not less.  More civility, more reflection, more community, a greater sense of family. Are our increased choices enhancing or reducing these things? Is technology opening vistas that will lead us to the core of what it means to be fully human? Or will it make questions like that seem dated and foolish? Can we buy enough apps to bring us joy? Or do they merely entertain us?

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