Over the years, I've read a lot of books on Leadership and I've attended more than a few seminars on the subject. Autocratic, democratic, laissez-faire, transformational, situational, emergent, participative servant, visionary... ask me about these leadership styles and I could give you a speech. I know what they are and I've seen examples of each of them in others. However, I'm still stuck in the learn-as-you-go mode and most of what I've really learned, I've learned from experiencing... and often from failing.
It's not that I don't have any leadership talent. I do. But over the years I have paid a price- sometimes modest and sometimes more than I wanted to pay- for my weaknesses as a leader and as a man. Knowing this, let me suggest that no one will succeed as a leader for long unless he or she....
1. Knows who they are.
Nothing provides clearer direction than knowing where you are going, and nothing protects us from unexpected pitfalls... like knowing (in advance) what we will embrace and what we will resist, or even condemn. Unless you have clear boundaries and a solid foundation, your work as a leader will be inconsistent, vulnerable, and fatally flawed. A leader without values is dangerous.
2. Shows courage.
In my view, leaders lack courage more than anything else, and I don't have the words to express just how much I regret NOT standing up for justice earlier in my career! I noticed that things were wrong, but I was too busy trying to make a name for myself. I spent much too much time telling others what they wanted to hear... and I lost myself in the process. There were many good ideas that I never voiced for fear that they would be rejected and, more importantly, there were many injustices that I didn't confront because I didn't want to be ostracized. If I could offer those whom I love just one bit of advice, it would be this: always show courage and speak the truth in love!
3. Treats people kindly.
They say that people don't care what you know until they know that you care, and that would certainly be my experience. I didn't care, and that alone crippled my effectiveness as a leader. I'm not sure what I was so hard to get along with in my earlier years. Perhaps I wasn't content with myself (see above). Perhaps I was lacking in confidence. Perhaps I simply wasn't ready for the leadership power I had... but the record shows that I did not wear success well. Indeed, I was arrogant and dismissive of people who had every right to be treated with dignity and respect. Instead of being a leader who helped others build careers, I often stymied their dreams. We reap what we sow, and being a "jerk" is a losing proposition all around. When things are going well for you, no one applauds, and when things are falling apart around you, there is not a helping hand to be seen.
4. Invites others to share in a vision.
Leadership is all about influencing others... and telling people to act in a certain way... because "you said so" is not an effective way to lead. It doesn't work all that well with children, and it doesn't work at all with adults. Even pleading with others to help you meet your goals will fall on deaf ears... unless they are motivated to help you. Your followers will not follow... unless they want to... and they won't "want to" unless they are invited to share in a vision that either improves their lives, or makes the world a more just and better place. I would've been a better leader if I had shared more stories and tapped into more dreams.
There are, of course, a variety of leadership traits (see John Maxwell). but it's not my purpose to tell you what I know about leadership. I can tell you this from personal experience, however: unless you are a person of character who treats others with the greatest respect, people won't follow you at all... and unless you offer a motivating vision, they won't follow you with much enthusiasm.
PK IN SWEDEN
Thursday, January 9, 2014
Saturday, December 21, 2013
IN SUPPORT OF PHIL ROBERTSON & EVANGELICAL CHRISTIANS
I'm an ordained pastor in a "mainline" Christian denomination. I've received a Master's degree and an earned Doctorate... from a well-respected seminary. I am not primitive, phobic, vile, or hateful. I've been committed to a variety of civil rights causes in the course of my life, and I've supported Israel at every turn. Ordinarily, it's my tendency to live and let live, even though I try hard to preach the gospel every time I enter the pulpit. I don't like conflict, but I dislike bullies even more... so I am weighing in... in support of Phil Robertson and Bible-believing Christians throughout the world! Phil and I do not agree on the interpretation of every verse in Scripture... but we do agree... that Scripture IS God's word... and I am alarmed that, in a country like ours, a man of faith can be censured and punished for citing God's word. If we take...a) the condescending arrogance of those who mock Christianity, on the one hand, and b) the silence of misguided Christians, on the other hand... we have a one-two punch that will kill the very values that gave birth to our country.
Friends, it is time to speak out. There's something oppressive and unsavory going on here, and it's beginning to alarm me. I am frustrated when I see retailers, who are making a fortune off of Christmas, forbid their employees to say "Merry Christmas." If they don't believe in Christmas, then they should close their stores. At least that would show some conviction. Just now, I see that a middle school on Long Island systematically removed any reference to Christ from "Silent Night," so that they wouldn't offend anyone! Hello! How about those of us who believe? It seems that we have reached a point in time where right is considered wrong, and wrong is considered right. Why are Christians- of all stripes- putting up with this? Why? We've known for years that money-makers and power-brokers want us to keep our mouths shut... while they co-opt one of the most sacred days in history... but now... we are expected to sit idly by...while a man of faith is condemned for paraphrasing the Bible... in response to a direct question... during an interview... that he granted.
Friends, all Christians should be offended by this because their own faith demands that they also live by God's word. According to Jesus (and here I paraphrase) any one who follows Him will be persecuted for living out his/her beliefs" Why? Because being a Christian is a way of life. People who have surrendered to Christ and who live their lives for Him,,, ARE the Chirstians. They live for Christ and stand on the Bible as THE source of morality and direction in life. Thus, when you ask born-again Christians what they consider to be a sin ... you are simply toying with them because they will always tell you what they've learned in their Bibles and heard in their pulpits! How could it be otherwise? When Phil gave an interview to a national magazine, which had nothing to do with Duck Dynasty or A&E, he was asked about his own opinion on homosexuality... and he gave the answer... that anyone should have expected from an evangelical Christian. He said that, based on Scripture, he considers homosexuality to be a sin and that he personally doesn't see how any man could have sex with another man. He concluded by saying that, as a Christian, he loves all of God's people and would never harm anyone. Amen, You can disagree with this. You can laugh at it. You can call it outdated, even hateful and vile (as one personality did)... but you have to admit that it IS the word of God. Consider these verses:
(As a punishment for their ongoing disobedience) God gave them over to the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degradation of their bodies with one another... Because of this, even women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women... Men committed indecent acts with other men... furthermore... they abandoned their knowledge of God and became filled with evil, greed, murder, strife, deceit, and malice, They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters.... ROMANS 1:24ff
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders... will inherit the kingdom of God.... I CORINTHIANS 6: 9ff
Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother... do not have sexual relations with your sister... do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable... do not have sexual relations with an animal... anyone who does any of these detestable things (will be) cut off from their people.
LEVITICUS 18
Now, if I were teaching a class on these passages today, I would put them in their historical, cultural, and theological context (as I see it)... but millions and millions of my Christian brothers and sister take them at face value and strive to live by them! If I asked any one of them to list the behaviors that they considered to be sins... I would expect to hear the very things I cited above. Indeed, I would be disappointed if I didn't! That's what evangelical Christians throughout the world will say every single time they're asked... because that is what they believe! If I were to ask my many Jewish friends for their opinion on Jesus' divinity... I know what they would say because I know what they believe. In short, Phil Robertson is being condemned for saying what everyone knew he would say. What is he supposed to do? Deny his own faith? Undermine the word of God? If the interview itself wasn't a "set-up," surely A&E's suspension of Phil, was a repudiation of Bible-believing Christians everywhere. I find A&E's and GLAAD's actions to be so offensive that I could write a book about it... but I will close with three thoughts:
First, let's admit that this is a war on Christianity, or at least a war on the Bible. I don't interpret Scripture in the same way Phil does... but I certainly know that he was citing Scripture... and that he could've cited many other passages. Therefore, people who find Phil's comments to be vile and
hateful ... are actually indicting Scripture... that is sacred to billions of people, are they not? Are we crucifying Phil... for believing the Bible? Call the Bible vile, if you think it is. Call conservative Christians hateful, if you think they are. Call Paul, the original author of Phil's statement... vile, if you feel that way... but don't call a man vile and hateful when he refers to Scripture and pretend that Scripture has nothing to do with it.
If God's word is passe' or a source of mockery in America, Christians ought to either rise up and demand respect... or pack it in and go golfing. Secondly, I'mconcerned about the intolerance shown by GlAAD and others who have picked this fight. If the American public finds Phil Robertson's comments to be offensive, they won't watch his show and his ratings will fall. They will speak out in that way, without being told what to believe, or being bullied! Until now, things have been going very well for GLAAD and for the cause of the entire LGBT communinity. More Americans, and more Christians, have supported their cause... but they've done so in the name of tolerance. But now, it seems that GLAAD'S heavy-handed approach to Phil's beliefs violate their own claim to tolerance. Crushing the views and rights of people in my own family whom I respect and adore is not a position that I will ever endorse!
Finally, I return to my fear of the coalition of people who don't believe in God's word and those Christians who don't believe it is worth fighting for. Please, please, take a stand. Don't support A&E, put a nativity scene in your yard, vote for men and women who are Christians, say "Merry Christmas" to everyone you meet. Christians in America have never been told to either shut up or say what they are told to say! Never. and it should not start now! I just read a comment from GLAAD, in which their representative noted that they had to attack Phil because... there comes a time when "staying quiet" is unacceptable. He and I could not agree more on this particular point!
PK
Friends, it is time to speak out. There's something oppressive and unsavory going on here, and it's beginning to alarm me. I am frustrated when I see retailers, who are making a fortune off of Christmas, forbid their employees to say "Merry Christmas." If they don't believe in Christmas, then they should close their stores. At least that would show some conviction. Just now, I see that a middle school on Long Island systematically removed any reference to Christ from "Silent Night," so that they wouldn't offend anyone! Hello! How about those of us who believe? It seems that we have reached a point in time where right is considered wrong, and wrong is considered right. Why are Christians- of all stripes- putting up with this? Why? We've known for years that money-makers and power-brokers want us to keep our mouths shut... while they co-opt one of the most sacred days in history... but now... we are expected to sit idly by...while a man of faith is condemned for paraphrasing the Bible... in response to a direct question... during an interview... that he granted.
Friends, all Christians should be offended by this because their own faith demands that they also live by God's word. According to Jesus (and here I paraphrase) any one who follows Him will be persecuted for living out his/her beliefs" Why? Because being a Christian is a way of life. People who have surrendered to Christ and who live their lives for Him,,, ARE the Chirstians. They live for Christ and stand on the Bible as THE source of morality and direction in life. Thus, when you ask born-again Christians what they consider to be a sin ... you are simply toying with them because they will always tell you what they've learned in their Bibles and heard in their pulpits! How could it be otherwise? When Phil gave an interview to a national magazine, which had nothing to do with Duck Dynasty or A&E, he was asked about his own opinion on homosexuality... and he gave the answer... that anyone should have expected from an evangelical Christian. He said that, based on Scripture, he considers homosexuality to be a sin and that he personally doesn't see how any man could have sex with another man. He concluded by saying that, as a Christian, he loves all of God's people and would never harm anyone. Amen, You can disagree with this. You can laugh at it. You can call it outdated, even hateful and vile (as one personality did)... but you have to admit that it IS the word of God. Consider these verses:
(As a punishment for their ongoing disobedience) God gave them over to the sinful desires of their hearts to sexual impurity for the degradation of their bodies with one another... Because of this, even women exchanged natural relations for unnatural ones. In the same way the men also abandoned natural relations with women... Men committed indecent acts with other men... furthermore... they abandoned their knowledge of God and became filled with evil, greed, murder, strife, deceit, and malice, They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters.... ROMANS 1:24ff
Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived! Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders... will inherit the kingdom of God.... I CORINTHIANS 6: 9ff
Keep my decrees and laws, for the man who obeys them will live by them. Do not dishonor your father by having sexual relations with your mother... do not have sexual relations with your sister... do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman; that is detestable... do not have sexual relations with an animal... anyone who does any of these detestable things (will be) cut off from their people.
LEVITICUS 18
Now, if I were teaching a class on these passages today, I would put them in their historical, cultural, and theological context (as I see it)... but millions and millions of my Christian brothers and sister take them at face value and strive to live by them! If I asked any one of them to list the behaviors that they considered to be sins... I would expect to hear the very things I cited above. Indeed, I would be disappointed if I didn't! That's what evangelical Christians throughout the world will say every single time they're asked... because that is what they believe! If I were to ask my many Jewish friends for their opinion on Jesus' divinity... I know what they would say because I know what they believe. In short, Phil Robertson is being condemned for saying what everyone knew he would say. What is he supposed to do? Deny his own faith? Undermine the word of God? If the interview itself wasn't a "set-up," surely A&E's suspension of Phil, was a repudiation of Bible-believing Christians everywhere. I find A&E's and GLAAD's actions to be so offensive that I could write a book about it... but I will close with three thoughts:
First, let's admit that this is a war on Christianity, or at least a war on the Bible. I don't interpret Scripture in the same way Phil does... but I certainly know that he was citing Scripture... and that he could've cited many other passages. Therefore, people who find Phil's comments to be vile and
hateful ... are actually indicting Scripture... that is sacred to billions of people, are they not? Are we crucifying Phil... for believing the Bible? Call the Bible vile, if you think it is. Call conservative Christians hateful, if you think they are. Call Paul, the original author of Phil's statement... vile, if you feel that way... but don't call a man vile and hateful when he refers to Scripture and pretend that Scripture has nothing to do with it.
If God's word is passe' or a source of mockery in America, Christians ought to either rise up and demand respect... or pack it in and go golfing. Secondly, I'mconcerned about the intolerance shown by GlAAD and others who have picked this fight. If the American public finds Phil Robertson's comments to be offensive, they won't watch his show and his ratings will fall. They will speak out in that way, without being told what to believe, or being bullied! Until now, things have been going very well for GLAAD and for the cause of the entire LGBT communinity. More Americans, and more Christians, have supported their cause... but they've done so in the name of tolerance. But now, it seems that GLAAD'S heavy-handed approach to Phil's beliefs violate their own claim to tolerance. Crushing the views and rights of people in my own family whom I respect and adore is not a position that I will ever endorse!
Finally, I return to my fear of the coalition of people who don't believe in God's word and those Christians who don't believe it is worth fighting for. Please, please, take a stand. Don't support A&E, put a nativity scene in your yard, vote for men and women who are Christians, say "Merry Christmas" to everyone you meet. Christians in America have never been told to either shut up or say what they are told to say! Never. and it should not start now! I just read a comment from GLAAD, in which their representative noted that they had to attack Phil because... there comes a time when "staying quiet" is unacceptable. He and I could not agree more on this particular point!
PK
Tuesday, December 17, 2013
NEW YEAR'S RESOLUTIONS FOR ME... AND MAYBE, YOU TOO
A FEW OF MY
RESOLUTIONS FOR 2014
(and a couple for
you)
every
now and then)
In 2014…I resolve to write the book I’ve wanted to write for
years
(or
at least to begin)
In 2014…I resolve to work on my abs (don’t laugh)
or
at least…unpack the weights I bought last summer
In 2014…I resolve to spend much more time
learning
the languages I’ve been studying for years
In 2014…I resolve to double my prayer time,
which
wouldn’t be… all that difficult to do
In 2014…I resolve to live as an “intentional” Christian…
who puts on the
armor of God when he gets dressed
In 2014…I resolve to begin each day with this question:
“What
does Christ want me to do and say today?”
In 2014…I resolve to claim the Imago Dei within me,
and to embrace the
Imago Dei in others
In 2014…I resolve to be an authentic, engaging and caring
leader
and
to visit every single church member at least once
In 2014…I resolve to be the “poppy” that my daughters and
my
grandchildren deserve (and this includes Donald IV as well)
In 2014…I resolve to take myself less seriously and the joys
and
the
pains of others… more seriously
In 2014…I resolve to be the husband that my wife thought I’d
be…
all
those years ago.
Well, 12 is a good Biblical number, and so, I will stop,
knowing and admitting that I could list 120, or 1200, worthy goals that would
make me more fully human. It is my fervent prayer that our elders will be more
intentional servants in 2014 and that God will inspire many of you to join
them… on a path that leads to… Bible study and spiritual growth.
Thursday, December 12, 2013
SHOTGUNS, BOWLING BALLS, & CHRISTMAS EXPECTATIONS
When I was a kid, Christmas was a mixed blessing. We didn't believe in much, and we didn't even stay home. Usually, we drove out to the Grundon's for Christmas Eve, which was okay (if not overdone)... but Jack Daniels always joined us. Alcohol filled our Christmases with tension...but still, I harbored my wishes and expectations. Yes, I had my expectations... and I had a script in my head of what people needed to do and say... and what gifts I needed to receive... to make my Christmas "good." I had definite expectations of what would make Christmas "good," but I was disappointed more than once. My greatest disappointment came on the Christmas when I wanted a bowling ball with all my heart. I really, really wanted a bowling ball of my own- one drilled just for me, with my name on it... but my father decided to get me and my two brothers new shotguns. He liked to hunt and my brothers liked it as well... but I kept telling mom to get Larry and Randy a shotgun for Christmas... but to get me a bowling ball instead. Well, come Christmas morning... I had shotgun... and very little faith in either Jesus or Santa.
I was brokenhearted because Christmas didn't meet my expectations! It was a terrible Christmas because I didn't get what I expected. It was an awful Christmas because it didn't meet my expectations, and if truth be known, I still get disappointed when things don't meet my expectations. Whether it's a project at work, the outcome of a game, or the way in which a relationship unfolds- things seem wrong when they don't meet my expectations. A lot of people are like me. Things are good when they meet their expectations, and they need to be fixed when they don't. It's that simple. Many people evaluate things through the lens of their expectations, and when they don't match up, they are upset... disappointed... sometimes to the point of looking for something... or someone... else. Embracing a role model, a spouse, even a savior, AS THEY ARE can be very difficult... because our expectations get in the way!
This may have been John the Baptist's problem when he asked Jesus if he was the Anointed One or if he (John) should look for someone else. Scholars have made other guesses, but I suspect that John's own expectations blinded him to Jesus' identity. Otherwise, John's question makes no sense at all,,, because according to Scripture, John had baptized Jesus and pointed him out as "The Lamb of God." Putting aside the fact that John and Jesus were related, the Bible makes it clear that John told Jesus that he wasn't even worthy to untie Jesus' sandals. Friends, there's no doubt that John thought Jesus was the Messiah...at one time... back when he thought Jesus would meet his expectations ... before he was thrown into Herod's dungeon... before time began to drag... with no changes, not even any tough talk. John was a man of action,,, and perhaps... he began to think...maybe- just maybe- Jesus was not the man. Jesus was not living up to John's expectations of what a Messiah should do and say, and John was beginning to wonder... if Jesus was the one.
Many Christians have a similar battle with their expectations when they start their faith journeys. They're excited about Jesus in the beginning. They buy a Bible, even two. They study, join things, and attend worship services... religiously... but then the pastor says something they don't agree with, or the youth group isn't led in the way that they would lead it, or the wrong songs are sung... and they're gone... disappointed because the church did not meet their expectations. Or take a couple who've been been active in church for a long time. They seem to have mature faith. They're involved in everything and they talk all of the talk... until their marriage crumbles... or a child dies... and then they lose their faith altogether... because God did not met their expectations. If they were God, they figure, they would not have let bad things happen to good people like themselves...so a God who stands with them in the midst of their loss... isn't worth the time of day. Their own expectations separate them from God at the very time when they needed Him most.
It's easy to get so caught up in what we think should be happening... that we fail to see what's actually happening. So, John sent his disciples to Jesus with a direct question: are you the One? Are you the one? Isn't this a powerful question? Didn't Jesus ask his disciples- who do you say that I am? And isn't Jesus asking you and me this question now: Am I the One you have been waiting for? This is a life-changing question, and Jesus simply invited John to open his eyes. Tell John, he responded, to quit looking for what he wants to see... and to start seeing what God is doing! People who haven't seen for years...nothing or dimly... no light, maybe shadows... are seeing clearly; people who've never heard good news.... can hear me whisper, I love you, and I would die for you; people who are poor (in all the ways people are poor) are richer than rich; people who haven't been touched in years... are being greeted and hugged; and those who've been given up for dead... are being reborn! I feel confident that He didn't need to say anything more- not to John- because the Baptist knew his Bible. He knew that these very things- new life, vision, love, hope- are signs of the Kingdom. We know it too... but sometimes... we get so caught up in ourselves- in our own expectations and needs- that we just don't see clearly.
Friends, I can't make Christmas "good." My father couldn't make it good, and neither can you. It IS good. Moreover, we can't manage Christmas. We can decorate our homes, turn Christmas music on, and set snacks on every table, but Christmas comes to us as a gift of grace. Of course, we want to be good hosts and generous givers, and all good Presbyterians will make their homes orderly... but Christmas isn't about us- it's about Jesus. He's the giver of new names, forgiveness and salvation... and these gifts have nothing whatsoever to do with shotguns and bowling balls.
My dad's been dead for more than 35 years now... but if I could do it all over again, I'd get my expectations out of the way... and say, "Thanks dad! This is a beautiful gun. Do you have the time to take us out shooting this weekend?" Amen.
I was brokenhearted because Christmas didn't meet my expectations! It was a terrible Christmas because I didn't get what I expected. It was an awful Christmas because it didn't meet my expectations, and if truth be known, I still get disappointed when things don't meet my expectations. Whether it's a project at work, the outcome of a game, or the way in which a relationship unfolds- things seem wrong when they don't meet my expectations. A lot of people are like me. Things are good when they meet their expectations, and they need to be fixed when they don't. It's that simple. Many people evaluate things through the lens of their expectations, and when they don't match up, they are upset... disappointed... sometimes to the point of looking for something... or someone... else. Embracing a role model, a spouse, even a savior, AS THEY ARE can be very difficult... because our expectations get in the way!
This may have been John the Baptist's problem when he asked Jesus if he was the Anointed One or if he (John) should look for someone else. Scholars have made other guesses, but I suspect that John's own expectations blinded him to Jesus' identity. Otherwise, John's question makes no sense at all,,, because according to Scripture, John had baptized Jesus and pointed him out as "The Lamb of God." Putting aside the fact that John and Jesus were related, the Bible makes it clear that John told Jesus that he wasn't even worthy to untie Jesus' sandals. Friends, there's no doubt that John thought Jesus was the Messiah...at one time... back when he thought Jesus would meet his expectations ... before he was thrown into Herod's dungeon... before time began to drag... with no changes, not even any tough talk. John was a man of action,,, and perhaps... he began to think...maybe- just maybe- Jesus was not the man. Jesus was not living up to John's expectations of what a Messiah should do and say, and John was beginning to wonder... if Jesus was the one.
Many Christians have a similar battle with their expectations when they start their faith journeys. They're excited about Jesus in the beginning. They buy a Bible, even two. They study, join things, and attend worship services... religiously... but then the pastor says something they don't agree with, or the youth group isn't led in the way that they would lead it, or the wrong songs are sung... and they're gone... disappointed because the church did not meet their expectations. Or take a couple who've been been active in church for a long time. They seem to have mature faith. They're involved in everything and they talk all of the talk... until their marriage crumbles... or a child dies... and then they lose their faith altogether... because God did not met their expectations. If they were God, they figure, they would not have let bad things happen to good people like themselves...so a God who stands with them in the midst of their loss... isn't worth the time of day. Their own expectations separate them from God at the very time when they needed Him most.
It's easy to get so caught up in what we think should be happening... that we fail to see what's actually happening. So, John sent his disciples to Jesus with a direct question: are you the One? Are you the one? Isn't this a powerful question? Didn't Jesus ask his disciples- who do you say that I am? And isn't Jesus asking you and me this question now: Am I the One you have been waiting for? This is a life-changing question, and Jesus simply invited John to open his eyes. Tell John, he responded, to quit looking for what he wants to see... and to start seeing what God is doing! People who haven't seen for years...nothing or dimly... no light, maybe shadows... are seeing clearly; people who've never heard good news.... can hear me whisper, I love you, and I would die for you; people who are poor (in all the ways people are poor) are richer than rich; people who haven't been touched in years... are being greeted and hugged; and those who've been given up for dead... are being reborn! I feel confident that He didn't need to say anything more- not to John- because the Baptist knew his Bible. He knew that these very things- new life, vision, love, hope- are signs of the Kingdom. We know it too... but sometimes... we get so caught up in ourselves- in our own expectations and needs- that we just don't see clearly.
Friends, I can't make Christmas "good." My father couldn't make it good, and neither can you. It IS good. Moreover, we can't manage Christmas. We can decorate our homes, turn Christmas music on, and set snacks on every table, but Christmas comes to us as a gift of grace. Of course, we want to be good hosts and generous givers, and all good Presbyterians will make their homes orderly... but Christmas isn't about us- it's about Jesus. He's the giver of new names, forgiveness and salvation... and these gifts have nothing whatsoever to do with shotguns and bowling balls.
My dad's been dead for more than 35 years now... but if I could do it all over again, I'd get my expectations out of the way... and say, "Thanks dad! This is a beautiful gun. Do you have the time to take us out shooting this weekend?" Amen.
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS FAIRNESS
Recently, my grandson, Archer (age 5) asked his mom if other children were blessed with parents who loved them as much as his mom and dad loved him.. and she answered... "no." Many, many children are blessed with loving and attentive parents. They're tucked in at night and they are heard during the day. They have boundaries, but their boundaries are part of the love they have come to trust. There are also many children who receive all the love they need from single parents and parents who have adopted them... BUT there are countless numbers of children... who hear more sobs than laughter... and who live with deep needs and an haunting emptiness... day after day after day. "No, Archer," she said, "There are all sorts of children who do NOT receive as much love and comfort as you receive"... and Archer broke down and cried! That's not fair, he said. it's not fair!
To which I can only say, "Amen. Nothing in life is fair, Archer. Nothing at all." Some kids are born into families... who want for nothing, and other kids are born into families...who have nothing. Some people are pretty, and other people are not. Some kids are affirmed and encouraged, and others are criticized and broken. Some kids are born in America, but some are born in Somalia. Some kids follow a family tradition of attending an Ivy League school, while other kids follow a family tradition of going to prison. Most kids grow up to be healthy men or women... but more than a few...die in tragic accidents... and from rare diseases... and fairness has nothing to do with it! In fact, thinking that things ought to be "fair" is one of the primary causes of discontent in our society.
As an ordained minister, I've read the Bible several times... and I've never seen the word "fair" (as we use it) a single time. I've encountered "love," "grace," "justice," "mercy," "forgiveness," "surrender," "righteousness," "peace," "contentment," "courage," even "punishment,"... but I've never encountered "fairness," as a theological theme. Like Job, we complain when things don't seem "fair," and like the prophets of old, we wonder why the "good die young"...which is why we need courage, perseverance,
and God's amazing grace. Archer, there's nothing "fair" under the sun. Give up on it. Instead, be content with what you have. Rejoice in the grace you've received. Be grateful for the love you've been blessed to give and receive... and give as much love to others... as God has given to you! Don't worry about fairness, Archer, because it doesn't exist. But never quit opening doors for others and lifting them up. This, itself, is not fair, but it sure is loving and just. Amen.
To which I can only say, "Amen. Nothing in life is fair, Archer. Nothing at all." Some kids are born into families... who want for nothing, and other kids are born into families...who have nothing. Some people are pretty, and other people are not. Some kids are affirmed and encouraged, and others are criticized and broken. Some kids are born in America, but some are born in Somalia. Some kids follow a family tradition of attending an Ivy League school, while other kids follow a family tradition of going to prison. Most kids grow up to be healthy men or women... but more than a few...die in tragic accidents... and from rare diseases... and fairness has nothing to do with it! In fact, thinking that things ought to be "fair" is one of the primary causes of discontent in our society.
As an ordained minister, I've read the Bible several times... and I've never seen the word "fair" (as we use it) a single time. I've encountered "love," "grace," "justice," "mercy," "forgiveness," "surrender," "righteousness," "peace," "contentment," "courage," even "punishment,"... but I've never encountered "fairness," as a theological theme. Like Job, we complain when things don't seem "fair," and like the prophets of old, we wonder why the "good die young"...which is why we need courage, perseverance,
and God's amazing grace. Archer, there's nothing "fair" under the sun. Give up on it. Instead, be content with what you have. Rejoice in the grace you've received. Be grateful for the love you've been blessed to give and receive... and give as much love to others... as God has given to you! Don't worry about fairness, Archer, because it doesn't exist. But never quit opening doors for others and lifting them up. This, itself, is not fair, but it sure is loving and just. Amen.
Monday, November 25, 2013
WITHOUT FAITH, LIFE IS A B......
Tuesday, I conducted a funeral service for a good man. He wasn't famous... or wealthy...or the life of the party. He wasn't notorious... or particularly witty... but he was a good man. He was committed to his wife; he was committed to the scouts, rearing all four of his sons to become eagle scouts; and he was a committed to his country, serving in the Navy during WWII. He was also a man with a strong faith, and we played "The Old Rugged Cross," during his service. During his eulogy, we focused on his life and faith, and offered a story or two about his war experience... but there was one moment that I found particularly poignant. When everyone else had left the room, Fred's four sons stood in front of their father's coffin. They just stood there for what seemed to be the longest time. They didn't speak to one another. They simply stood together, one and then another wiping away a tear, and occasionally, reaching out to touch their dad. I've seen this moment before...but when I watched these men, now on the brink of being old themselves, struggle to say goodbye, I was struck by their vulnerability. The pain of losing a loved one, it seems, never lessens, no matter how old we may be.
On Thursday I visited one of our seniors in his hospital room, which I've done several times before... because he's been in and out of the hospital for a couple of years now. He's recovering from another surgery and doing well, I think, but his bigger struggle... is with God, who either "allowed" or just "stood by and watched" as his only daughter passed away last year. She was a lovely "girl"- a great mother- a doting daughter- engaging, intelligent, beautiful...in every way... and now she's gone... and my friend can't get over it. His emotional pain is much deeper than his physical pain, and while I pray that he'll find the faith to embrace God's Easter promise, I suspect that his life here on earth... will never be as bright or as full as it used to be.
On Friday, I received a phone call from a young woman who is a good friend of mine. She said that her husband's cancer had "grown and spread" while he was fighting another life-threatening infection. These results were not surprising... but still disappointing... and we will continue to walk with both of them... as my friend continues his journey of courage and grace. Perhaps I'm too personally involved with this couple... but I find myself feeling a good measure of the fear, hope, and anxiety that they must be feeling. I feel good that they've developed a strong faith in recent years, but I feel bad... knowing that they're going to need it.
What does it all mean? What does it add up to? Simply this: without faith, life is very, very difficult!
On Thursday I visited one of our seniors in his hospital room, which I've done several times before... because he's been in and out of the hospital for a couple of years now. He's recovering from another surgery and doing well, I think, but his bigger struggle... is with God, who either "allowed" or just "stood by and watched" as his only daughter passed away last year. She was a lovely "girl"- a great mother- a doting daughter- engaging, intelligent, beautiful...in every way... and now she's gone... and my friend can't get over it. His emotional pain is much deeper than his physical pain, and while I pray that he'll find the faith to embrace God's Easter promise, I suspect that his life here on earth... will never be as bright or as full as it used to be.
On Friday, I received a phone call from a young woman who is a good friend of mine. She said that her husband's cancer had "grown and spread" while he was fighting another life-threatening infection. These results were not surprising... but still disappointing... and we will continue to walk with both of them... as my friend continues his journey of courage and grace. Perhaps I'm too personally involved with this couple... but I find myself feeling a good measure of the fear, hope, and anxiety that they must be feeling. I feel good that they've developed a strong faith in recent years, but I feel bad... knowing that they're going to need it.
What does it all mean? What does it add up to? Simply this: without faith, life is very, very difficult!
Thursday, November 21, 2013
An Attitude of Gratitude-My Head is Filled with Dirt
Gratefulness, someone said, is the fullest expression of the human heart... but I often take my blessings for granted. Another person once told me that my life would be better if I took the time to write a gratitude list every morning. He said that this would center me and lift my spirits as well, but I forget to do it, and even when I do remember, I'm too busy... so I plod along, wandering why I don't receive as many blessings that others seem to have. This way of thinking is wrong of course. In the 12 Step world, they would call it "stinking thinking." It's self-defeating and counter-productive... so today... as another Thanksgiving nears... I will write my Gratitude List. Today, I am grateful for...
Christ, Golgotha, and the Easter Promise...
my wife, my family, and others who have actually loved me for better or worse...
friends who have gone out of their way to overlook my faults and shortcomings...
Today, I am grateful for...
the joy of laughter when it's vulnerable and the depth of honest tears...
my vocation, adult baptisms, surrender, and second chances...
unexpected generosity... and people who dance with life.
Today, I am grateful for...
the oldies station, praise music, classic country, and old-time gospel music...
for the thread of hope that runs through Christian funerals...
and people who die with grace.
Today, I am grateful for...
good coffee, bad coffee, cold coffee, and reheated coffee...
mulligans, do-overs, and 2nd, 3rd, 10th chances... and forgiveness.
Today, I am grateful for
an oncology nurse named Maria and a preacher named Lu...
friends like Edna Baker, Bill Maule, Bus Iglehart, and Kelly Arduser, and
of course, being saved in and through Christ Jesus.
I've read that the Masai people say, "My head is filled with dirt," when they are grateful. Rather than saying "thank you," they say, "My head is filled dirt"... because, when they are grateful, they fall on their knees and actually put their foreheads in the dirt. This is much too vulnerable for most of us, but when you've been saved by grace and showered with unmerited blessings... what else can you do...
but fall to your knees and say, "My Lord and my God, my head is filled with dirt"!
Christ, Golgotha, and the Easter Promise...
my wife, my family, and others who have actually loved me for better or worse...
friends who have gone out of their way to overlook my faults and shortcomings...
Today, I am grateful for...
the joy of laughter when it's vulnerable and the depth of honest tears...
my vocation, adult baptisms, surrender, and second chances...
unexpected generosity... and people who dance with life.
Today, I am grateful for...
the oldies station, praise music, classic country, and old-time gospel music...
for the thread of hope that runs through Christian funerals...
and people who die with grace.
Today, I am grateful for...
good coffee, bad coffee, cold coffee, and reheated coffee...
mulligans, do-overs, and 2nd, 3rd, 10th chances... and forgiveness.
Today, I am grateful for
an oncology nurse named Maria and a preacher named Lu...
friends like Edna Baker, Bill Maule, Bus Iglehart, and Kelly Arduser, and
of course, being saved in and through Christ Jesus.
I've read that the Masai people say, "My head is filled with dirt," when they are grateful. Rather than saying "thank you," they say, "My head is filled dirt"... because, when they are grateful, they fall on their knees and actually put their foreheads in the dirt. This is much too vulnerable for most of us, but when you've been saved by grace and showered with unmerited blessings... what else can you do...
but fall to your knees and say, "My Lord and my God, my head is filled with dirt"!
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