MISTAKES I'VE MADE

Over the years, I've read a lot of books on Leadership and I've attended more than a few seminars on the subject. Autocratic, democratic, laissez-faire, transformational, situational, emergent, participative servant, visionary... ask me about these leadership styles and I could give you a speech. I know what they are and I've seen examples of each of them in others. However, I'm still stuck in the learn-as-you-go mode and most of what I've really learned, I've learned from experiencing... and often from failing.

It's not that I don't have any leadership talent. I do. But over the years I have paid a price- sometimes modest and sometimes more than I wanted to pay- for my weaknesses as a leader and as a man. Knowing this, let me suggest that no one will succeed as a leader for long unless he or she....

1. Knows who they are.
Nothing provides clearer direction than knowing where you are going, and nothing protects us from unexpected pitfalls... like knowing (in advance) what we will embrace and what we will resist, or even condemn. Unless you have clear boundaries and a solid foundation, your work as a leader will be inconsistent, vulnerable, and fatally flawed. A leader without values is dangerous.

2. Shows courage.
In my view, leaders lack courage more than anything else, and I don't have the words to express just how much I regret NOT standing up for justice earlier in my career! I noticed that things were wrong, but I was too busy trying to make a name for myself. I spent much too much time telling others what they wanted to hear... and I lost myself in the process. There were many good ideas that I never voiced for fear that they would be rejected and, more importantly, there were many injustices that I didn't confront because I didn't want to be ostracized. If I could offer those whom I love just one bit of advice, it would be this: always show courage and speak the truth in love!

3. Treats people kindly.
They say that people don't care what you know until they know that you care, and that would certainly be my experience. I didn't care, and that alone crippled my effectiveness as a leader. I'm not sure what I was so hard to get along with in my earlier years. Perhaps I wasn't content with myself (see above). Perhaps I was lacking in confidence. Perhaps I simply wasn't ready for the leadership power I had... but the record shows that I did not wear success well. Indeed, I was arrogant and dismissive of people who had every right to be treated with dignity and respect. Instead of being a leader who helped others build careers, I often stymied their dreams. We reap what we sow, and being a "jerk" is a losing proposition all around. When things are going well for you, no one applauds, and when things are falling apart around you, there is not a helping hand to be seen.

4. Invites others to share in a vision.
Leadership is all about influencing others... and telling people to act in a certain way... because "you said so" is not an effective way to lead. It doesn't work all that well with children, and it doesn't work at all with adults. Even pleading with others to help you meet your goals will fall on deaf ears... unless they are motivated to help you. Your followers will not follow... unless they want to... and they won't "want to" unless they are invited to share in a vision that either improves their lives, or makes the world a more just and better place. I would've been a better leader if I had shared more stories and tapped into more dreams.

There are, of course, a variety of leadership traits (see John Maxwell). but it's not my purpose to tell you what I know about leadership. I can tell you this from personal experience, however: unless you are a person of character who treats others with the greatest respect, people won't follow you at all... and unless you offer a motivating vision, they won't follow you with much enthusiasm.