I'm 70 years old now. I am slightly overweight... and my mostly gray hair is beginning to thin. I am a man who was (and is) blessed with a wonderful family, including a wife of 49 years, two great daughters, a couple of dynamite granddaughters, and two joy-filled little boys, one of whom is a grandson and one of whom is a great-grandson. I'm a proud native of Iowa, which is a lot like heaven to me... but a big part of my heart still clings to Nebraska's "Big Red" because we lived in Omaha for 20 years. I'm a recovering alcoholic, who weathered a life-threatening and life-changing battle with alcohol before I was 30. Like my brothers, I love the grocery business, and I will always be a "grocery dog" deep down. I'm a born-again Christian, who found grace, purpose, and freedom in Christ many years ago. I am a retired Presbyterian minister, and I thank God for every single moment that he gave me to touch someone's life in his name! I am a "Shedenhelm-Simmons," and I hail from a long line of good men and women... who gave all they had to make our country what it is today. I've been blessed with more than my share of "highs," and I've created a heart-breaking number of "lows" for myself and others. Life, for me, has been something of a roller-coaster ride, and at times, I've done little more than hang on.
I'm the son of two people who, like the rest of us, were products of their own time and their experiences in time. They both lived through the Great Depression, and my father saw combat in the European theater. My father, especially, was a man of incredible resolve and strength. He was a "man's man," and I hold him in the greatest respect. I miss both of my parents and my brothers too, and at times, I miss our home, which was on a corner lot in Des Moines, Iowa. In many ways, we had a typical American family back then. We lived in a nice ranch home, with a one-car garage, which meant that mom had to drive dad to work if she had something to do. I was blessed with a handful of good friends and a handful of wonderful relatives (who were about my age.) Things seemed okay... but they weren't... because our parents were addicted to alcohol! Neither of them ever carried a tin cup and my dad had a great job on his dying day... but they were both alcoholics. They needed it. They couldn't envision life without it... and their world revolved around it. Initially, if they were anything like me, alcohol served them well. It freed them to be their most charming selves, but in the end, it was their master... and in a very real way, it was THE MASTER of our household because it led our parents into a pattern of fights and shouting matches... that seriously undermined the serenity and sanity of our happy home.
I don't fault either one of my parents for getting caught in the grip of something that was too big to control... because they didn't choose to be! Neither did I later on. There is no profit in blaming someone for being "who they were." It is neither fair, loving, or sensible... but actions do have consequences. So, I would like to remind myself and, maybe you, that children who are reared in alcoholic homes... are likely to bear these marks:
1. They will judge themselves harshly and never feel "good enough;"
2. They will be "serious" people who don't have much of a sense of fun or play;
3. They will feel guilty on the few occasions when they do stand up for themselves;
4. They will give themselves over to people-pleasing as a way of life;
5. They will always be vigilant, alert, and "on-guard'"
6. They will have difficulty expressing feelings and trusting other people;
7. They will be more likely to be "reactors" rather than "actors" in life;
8. They will feel alone and isolated, even if they are in a crowd;
9. They will cling to even destructive relationships, for fear of being abandoned;
These are the trail signs of an ACOA (Adult Child of an Alcoholic). They certainly described and defined me for years, and truth be known, some of these characteristics are "hanging around" to this day. I see them, but they no longer define me! I am free now to be my best self. For me, as you most likely know, my freedom came through my faith in Christ... but you will also be freed... if you surrender to the liberating power of "accepting love." Amen!
PK IN SWEDEN
Monday, January 30, 2017
Sunday, January 29, 2017
CAN YOU HEAR GOD CALLING?
In the year that King Uzziah died, I saw the Lord sitting on a throne. His majesty filled the temple. Angels were shouting "Holy, Holy, Holy," and I was filled with dread... for I was a sinner, who lived amongst sinners. Just then, one of the seraphs touched my lips with a burning coal. The Lord had blotted out my sin and then, He said, "Whom shall I send?" And I said, "Send me!" Send me, Lord, to embrace the lepers, send me to welcome the children, send me to fight for justice, send me to teach your word, or build your church, or sing your songs. Send me!
This is an account of Isaiah's call (Isaiah 6), but it is also very much about us...and today, I'd like to focus on God's call in our lives... because each one of us has a calling! We all have a calling- a calling that is every bit as real as Peter's call to preach at Pentecost or Mother Teresa's call to love the dying in Calcutta. We're all called to serve God with our own unique gifts in our own unique life settings, and there is no exception to this. God's call is an important thing and, if we're to find a place of joy in our own lives, it's important to answer God's it. So, with that in mind, I will focus on hearing God's call... because I think that most of us are willing... if we hear God calling. Yes, some of us drag our feet. Some let the phone ring because they don't want to serve or sacrifice, but in my experience, the bigger problem is that people simply don't hear God calling... or when they do, they can't discern whether it's God voice or their own. Hearing God's call requires spiritual maturity, sensitivity to context, and self-awareness Therefore, let me offer the following thoughts:
1. God's calls us to service, NOT greatness. Our service may lead to greatness, but more likely, God call us to serve him in, what some would say, are "little" ways... but there's nothing little about giving a hand, or a meal, or a coat, or visiting someone who is lonely and isolated. I knew a young man in a 12-step group who really wanted to be involved. He wanted to be in charge. He was eager to be seen with a mic in his hand, but when he was asked to bring a disabled member to meetings, for an indefinite period of time, without notice or fanfare, his interest waned. And he's not the only one. Many people don't hear God's call because they think it has got to be a) about them and b) something really BIG. God calls us to serve;
2. Secondly, let me suggest that your chances of hearing God's call will increase dramatically if you are in conversation with Him through prayer and Scripture. If you're not talking with God, you won't hear his voice, and you won't even care about listening unless you develop an intimate relationship with him through prayer and the Bible. If God is a stranger to you, you won't trust him enough to pick the phone;
3. Thirdly, God will call you within the context of your own life.
a. Consider your skill set, what do you do well? What don't you do well? If you can't speak, you won't enjoy preaching, and if you don't love the people, you won't survive as a pastor. When I first came to church, I was very passionate about Jesus and I sang right out loud. I made a "joyful noise," but at the end of a service, the saint behind me said, "I just love it when people who can't sing... sing anyway." It was then that I knew, for sure, that God was NOT calling me to the choir. If you don't have much of an attention span, it will be hard for you to learn Hebrew and Greek, and if you don't know up from down, you may not want to go into engineering. In short, while your vocation may not be your calling, there are times when God's call does require a set of experience and skills;
b. Consider your talents and blessings. If you're wealthy, you are called to share your wealth (period); if you can sing like a bird, you are called to sing; if your attention to detail drives other people crazy, join the finance committee; if you would rather "move and do," instead of discussing and debating, become a deacon and let the elders do the debating; if you are outgoing and energetic, start a small group and arrange events; if you're a prayer warrior, join or lead the prayer chain; and if you're an athlete, arrange a golf outing or a bowling event. Listen to your blessings, consider your talents, and you will often hear God voice;
c. Consider your tears. What makes you cry? What breaks your heart? For some it is child abuse, for some it is gun violence, for some it is education, for some it is disappearing jobs. But what is it for you? Find that thing that breaks your heart... and you may well find you calling;
d. Consider the people whom God has placed in your life. Think about their issues, their needs, their joys, their struggles, their words. Maybe they are messengers, speaking to you for God. For instance, since my wife worked for a Disability Rights Org. in Chicago while I was in seminary, wheelchair ramps and handicapped parking spots were very important to her and the people around her. They rejoiced when President Bush 41 signed the American Disabilities Act... but many other people never gave the matter any thought. But those same people might have lost a loved one to drunk driving or had someone in their family struggling with PTSD. Listen to the people and issues that God has already placed on your plate and you may find your calling;
e. Consider your community and your church. What do they need? What are they threatened by? Where can you help?
Jesus called Peter and John and the others, and they followed him immediately! They dropped what they were doing, turned their backs on their livelihoods, and followed him. Others, like Jeremiah and Moses, argued with God, suggesting that they weren't qualified; Jonah even ran from God, and millions upon millions have simply let his call go unanswered. Some of them were too busy, some of them were burdened by sin, some of them thought that, unless they were a saint, they wouldn't get a call from God, and some of them just didn't want to get involved in God's work. But God called nonetheless. He showed up in their lives and asked them to serve him in a variety of ways, and God will do the same for you, if he hasn't do so already.
If you equip yourself spiritually and listen to your life, you will hear God calling. Perhaps you already have, perhaps you will. I hope so... because God has a purpose for you! Believe this... taste a burning coal if you must... raise your hand... and shout, "Send me!" Amen.
This is an account of Isaiah's call (Isaiah 6), but it is also very much about us...and today, I'd like to focus on God's call in our lives... because each one of us has a calling! We all have a calling- a calling that is every bit as real as Peter's call to preach at Pentecost or Mother Teresa's call to love the dying in Calcutta. We're all called to serve God with our own unique gifts in our own unique life settings, and there is no exception to this. God's call is an important thing and, if we're to find a place of joy in our own lives, it's important to answer God's it. So, with that in mind, I will focus on hearing God's call... because I think that most of us are willing... if we hear God calling. Yes, some of us drag our feet. Some let the phone ring because they don't want to serve or sacrifice, but in my experience, the bigger problem is that people simply don't hear God calling... or when they do, they can't discern whether it's God voice or their own. Hearing God's call requires spiritual maturity, sensitivity to context, and self-awareness Therefore, let me offer the following thoughts:
1. God's calls us to service, NOT greatness. Our service may lead to greatness, but more likely, God call us to serve him in, what some would say, are "little" ways... but there's nothing little about giving a hand, or a meal, or a coat, or visiting someone who is lonely and isolated. I knew a young man in a 12-step group who really wanted to be involved. He wanted to be in charge. He was eager to be seen with a mic in his hand, but when he was asked to bring a disabled member to meetings, for an indefinite period of time, without notice or fanfare, his interest waned. And he's not the only one. Many people don't hear God's call because they think it has got to be a) about them and b) something really BIG. God calls us to serve;
2. Secondly, let me suggest that your chances of hearing God's call will increase dramatically if you are in conversation with Him through prayer and Scripture. If you're not talking with God, you won't hear his voice, and you won't even care about listening unless you develop an intimate relationship with him through prayer and the Bible. If God is a stranger to you, you won't trust him enough to pick the phone;
3. Thirdly, God will call you within the context of your own life.
a. Consider your skill set, what do you do well? What don't you do well? If you can't speak, you won't enjoy preaching, and if you don't love the people, you won't survive as a pastor. When I first came to church, I was very passionate about Jesus and I sang right out loud. I made a "joyful noise," but at the end of a service, the saint behind me said, "I just love it when people who can't sing... sing anyway." It was then that I knew, for sure, that God was NOT calling me to the choir. If you don't have much of an attention span, it will be hard for you to learn Hebrew and Greek, and if you don't know up from down, you may not want to go into engineering. In short, while your vocation may not be your calling, there are times when God's call does require a set of experience and skills;
b. Consider your talents and blessings. If you're wealthy, you are called to share your wealth (period); if you can sing like a bird, you are called to sing; if your attention to detail drives other people crazy, join the finance committee; if you would rather "move and do," instead of discussing and debating, become a deacon and let the elders do the debating; if you are outgoing and energetic, start a small group and arrange events; if you're a prayer warrior, join or lead the prayer chain; and if you're an athlete, arrange a golf outing or a bowling event. Listen to your blessings, consider your talents, and you will often hear God voice;
c. Consider your tears. What makes you cry? What breaks your heart? For some it is child abuse, for some it is gun violence, for some it is education, for some it is disappearing jobs. But what is it for you? Find that thing that breaks your heart... and you may well find you calling;
d. Consider the people whom God has placed in your life. Think about their issues, their needs, their joys, their struggles, their words. Maybe they are messengers, speaking to you for God. For instance, since my wife worked for a Disability Rights Org. in Chicago while I was in seminary, wheelchair ramps and handicapped parking spots were very important to her and the people around her. They rejoiced when President Bush 41 signed the American Disabilities Act... but many other people never gave the matter any thought. But those same people might have lost a loved one to drunk driving or had someone in their family struggling with PTSD. Listen to the people and issues that God has already placed on your plate and you may find your calling;
e. Consider your community and your church. What do they need? What are they threatened by? Where can you help?
Jesus called Peter and John and the others, and they followed him immediately! They dropped what they were doing, turned their backs on their livelihoods, and followed him. Others, like Jeremiah and Moses, argued with God, suggesting that they weren't qualified; Jonah even ran from God, and millions upon millions have simply let his call go unanswered. Some of them were too busy, some of them were burdened by sin, some of them thought that, unless they were a saint, they wouldn't get a call from God, and some of them just didn't want to get involved in God's work. But God called nonetheless. He showed up in their lives and asked them to serve him in a variety of ways, and God will do the same for you, if he hasn't do so already.
If you equip yourself spiritually and listen to your life, you will hear God calling. Perhaps you already have, perhaps you will. I hope so... because God has a purpose for you! Believe this... taste a burning coal if you must... raise your hand... and shout, "Send me!" Amen.
Saturday, January 21, 2017
SPIRITUAL FITNESS TAKES WORK
Every January,
many of us make New Year’s resolutions. We vow to quit drinking, smoking, or
behaving badly. We vow to work on our bucket list, learn a new language, or work
in a food kitchen. We vow to get fit- to tone our muscles, lose the belly fat, develop healthier relationships, and save more money. We want to be
happier, wealthier, safer, sexier… and if we want these things badly enough, we
may actually do the work that is necessary to bring them about. There is nothing
wrong with most of these resolutions. Who can argue with a larger
bank balance and a larger circle of friends? Or a better diet? No one thinks
that it would be a great idea to drink and smoke more, but our focus today is
on SPIRITUAL FITNESS because, as Augustine noted, our hearts will never rest
until they rest in God!
Spiritual fitness is not an esoteric notion for a small
group of eggheads, but an existential reality that is important- critically
important- for each one of us. Friends, we will never be our best selves; we
will never grow to spiritual maturity in our faith; and we will never
experience the peace, assurance, and joy that Christ promises us… unless we get
…and stay spiritually fit, which will require some work, an even greater
amount of focus, and perhaps an even greater amount of perseverance. Your
future will be much, much brighter… if you become spiritually fit… and intentional disciples of Jesus Christ. So, let me
share some of the goals that I am committed to in the new year… with the hope that you may
agree with some, if not most, of them yourselves.
In 2017, I resolve to engage in DAILY Bible
Study. It may come from a devotional, it may from a study guide, I may ask the pastor for help, I may select a book like the Gospel of John and read a
verse or two a day- carefully and reflectively- but I will let God’s word in
Scripture speak to me in the new year;
In 2017, I resolve to make prayer a DAILY discipline, just like brushing my teeth and combing my hair. I won’t wait until it comes naturally. I won’t wait until I feel like it, or until I am magically “good at it.” I will speak… and listen to God… every day… until I am comfortable opening my heart to him in an authentic and vulnerable way;
In 2017, I will “let go” of the things I cannot change, whether they're about a past that is long dead, or worries about a future than may never arrive. I understand that it won’t be easy to accomplish this goal. It will take disciplined work… but with God’s help, I can let go of the things that I control;
In 2017, I will be more forgiving, not in
theory, but in reality, I will forgive specific people for specific things,
knowing that, by forgiving, I will set myself free. I won’t worry about whether
it’s fair or not, I won’t bog down in self-righteous excuses, I will simply
trust in God and forgive… because my Savior has forgiven me;
In 2017, I resolve to be a cheerleader for others. I will root for underdogs and I will stand and applaud when others are recognized- even when I think that I deserve the recognition. Rather than being a step behind or in front of the crowd, I will try to “fit in” in this year. I will walk WITH my fellows toward a common goal:
In 2017, I resolve to be a cheerleader for others. I will root for underdogs and I will stand and applaud when others are recognized- even when I think that I deserve the recognition. Rather than being a step behind or in front of the crowd, I will try to “fit in” in this year. I will walk WITH my fellows toward a common goal:
In 2017, I resolve to honor the Image of God in every person I meet… and I will insist that others honor the Image of God in me. I will neither be a judge nor a punching bag for others and I will look for Christ is others, especially in those where it is harder to see. This will not come naturally to me. I know that. But with God’s help and with a disciplined effort, I can learn to see God in others. If I don’t, I may not be able to see Him at all;
In 2017, I will do something- at least one thing- that is outside of my comfort zone. If I've been giving 2% of my income to Christ, I will give 3%; if I’ve never given clothing or food to the poor, I will do so; if I’ve never taken the time to listen to, or come to know, someone who thinks, believes, and lives differently than I do, I will find a way to open my mind to their worldview this year;
In 2017, I will come to grips with my secrets and my sins, and I will give them to Christ. I will confess them, let them go, and live as a new man or woman for my Lord, knowing that I don’t have to carry the same old baggage around with me for the rest of my life;
In 2017, I will get involved… and change the things I can. If I think the choir should be stronger, I will join the choir; if I think the church ought to have more Bible study, I will teach, or at least attend one; if I would like to see the church get involved in a small group ministry, I will form one. And I think the church needs more members, I will invite my friends and neighbors, or help finance mailings, and other ways of reaching out. Instead of being a judge, I will be a player in the coming year.
Amen. That’s
nine. There could be 29, but you have the idea. If you want to be spiritually
fit, you will have to be intentional about it… and you will have to do some
work, If you want to be spiritually fit, you will have to get out of your comfort
zones and take some risks, and if you want to grow spiritually you will have to
let go of what was… and see the NOW through eyes of faith. Amen.
Friday, January 13, 2017
A GRATEFUL MINISTER
When I was undergoing treatment at the Eppley Center in Omaha, NE., my wife told me that, if I got sober, I might be able to become the minister I wanted to be. It was the fall of '76 and the whole thing seemed absurd. I had been in a shell for most of my life, and I had little commitment to much more than "getting ahead." I couldn't remember most of my past... and I had been beaten by alcohol at the age of 30. Thinking of others, or even of myself with any clarity, was not my strong suit, and I was, at once, too proud to ask for help and afraid of my own shadow. I looked at Sherry, who came down to see me (with our two little girls in tow) everyday, and wondered how anything good could come of my life. I had some talent- I knew that- but I didn't have any purpose or direction... nor any real hope of finding either one.
They let me out of the place after 30 days and I continued on with my life. I returned to work and attended meetings. I also began to attend church because I had responded to Christ's call in my life while I was in treatment. It was Pastor Lu who led me in the "Sinner's Prayer," and I wanted him to help me grow as a Christian. Sherry and I joined small groups in the church. We joined in fellowship events and, from time to time, I would tell "my story" to groups outside the church, I was "on my way" as a Christian, but spiritual maturity was elusive. I continued on my spiritual journey and God was faithful...but I also continued to struggle with pride and temptation. One step forward and two back, falling down and getting up, letting myself and others down and making amends- that pretty well sums up my spiritual life then. I was gaining a little ground, but I was picking up a lot of bumps and bruises.
Over time. it became clear that serenity wasn't going to come easily to me. There was too much conflict in my spirit, too much pain in my heart, too many doubts in my head... to be of much use to God, but in the face of all my inadequacies, God led Sherry and me to seminary in the fall of 1989. The classwork was easy and when I was ordained, I had no problem preaching... but I was caught off-guard by the "weight of being pastor" to others. I began to visit people in their time of real need and as I sat with them, I discovered that I had very little to say. When Lonnie asked me why her husband, Bill, had been killed, I didn't have much of an answer (and she didn't agree with the one I gave her). When I visited Isabelle as she was dying, her family told me that she had been hanging on, waiting for me, I asked myself "why?" What could I do, other than to touch her face, hold her hand, and seek God's grace-filled power? I walked down hospital corridors and sometimes, when I approached a family, someone would say- with a lilt in their voice- the pastor is coming! And it became clear that being a pastor was much more about mediating God's presence than simply preaching on Sundays.
Time passed. We moved on to other churches and God continued to prune me. When I arrived in Peoria and decided that I didn't have the time to accept an invitation to a 50th anniversary, I came face-to-face with the pain that such a self-centered decision can cause others... and I was again reminded that my spiritual growth had more to do with vulnerability than achievement. In this particular case I was granted forgiveness, but I promised myself that I would never be too busy to be present to others again. I've done a reasonable job of keeping this promise over the years, and I've learned that being vulnerable is the key to love. If you stand with others- if you let them love you- if you laugh with them and cry with them and just sit and stare with them- if you let them doubt in front of you- then you will become bonded in Christ... and you will be a minister, whether you are ordained or not.
Yesterday, I had breakfast with a friend of mine... and he said that he had heard that I was going to preach at our church in Minooka on the 21st. I told him that I was and then he said, "If you need a lay reader, I would be honored." Well, as he knew, naming lay readers is now above my pay grade, but I was struck by his comment. I know that it's the sort of thing people hear everyday, but it struck me anyway. Perhaps I have learned something. Maybe Sherry's patience and God's steadfast love has paid off. It's 2017 and due to God's grace, I believe that I am the minister that I talked about becoming back in the 70's. When I left the business world in 1989, some people said, "good riddance." Others rejoiced (I'm sure of it). And now a good man like Paul says that he would be honored to stand on the chancel with me. Go figure. God is very, very good. Amen.
They let me out of the place after 30 days and I continued on with my life. I returned to work and attended meetings. I also began to attend church because I had responded to Christ's call in my life while I was in treatment. It was Pastor Lu who led me in the "Sinner's Prayer," and I wanted him to help me grow as a Christian. Sherry and I joined small groups in the church. We joined in fellowship events and, from time to time, I would tell "my story" to groups outside the church, I was "on my way" as a Christian, but spiritual maturity was elusive. I continued on my spiritual journey and God was faithful...but I also continued to struggle with pride and temptation. One step forward and two back, falling down and getting up, letting myself and others down and making amends- that pretty well sums up my spiritual life then. I was gaining a little ground, but I was picking up a lot of bumps and bruises.
Over time. it became clear that serenity wasn't going to come easily to me. There was too much conflict in my spirit, too much pain in my heart, too many doubts in my head... to be of much use to God, but in the face of all my inadequacies, God led Sherry and me to seminary in the fall of 1989. The classwork was easy and when I was ordained, I had no problem preaching... but I was caught off-guard by the "weight of being pastor" to others. I began to visit people in their time of real need and as I sat with them, I discovered that I had very little to say. When Lonnie asked me why her husband, Bill, had been killed, I didn't have much of an answer (and she didn't agree with the one I gave her). When I visited Isabelle as she was dying, her family told me that she had been hanging on, waiting for me, I asked myself "why?" What could I do, other than to touch her face, hold her hand, and seek God's grace-filled power? I walked down hospital corridors and sometimes, when I approached a family, someone would say- with a lilt in their voice- the pastor is coming! And it became clear that being a pastor was much more about mediating God's presence than simply preaching on Sundays.
Time passed. We moved on to other churches and God continued to prune me. When I arrived in Peoria and decided that I didn't have the time to accept an invitation to a 50th anniversary, I came face-to-face with the pain that such a self-centered decision can cause others... and I was again reminded that my spiritual growth had more to do with vulnerability than achievement. In this particular case I was granted forgiveness, but I promised myself that I would never be too busy to be present to others again. I've done a reasonable job of keeping this promise over the years, and I've learned that being vulnerable is the key to love. If you stand with others- if you let them love you- if you laugh with them and cry with them and just sit and stare with them- if you let them doubt in front of you- then you will become bonded in Christ... and you will be a minister, whether you are ordained or not.
Yesterday, I had breakfast with a friend of mine... and he said that he had heard that I was going to preach at our church in Minooka on the 21st. I told him that I was and then he said, "If you need a lay reader, I would be honored." Well, as he knew, naming lay readers is now above my pay grade, but I was struck by his comment. I know that it's the sort of thing people hear everyday, but it struck me anyway. Perhaps I have learned something. Maybe Sherry's patience and God's steadfast love has paid off. It's 2017 and due to God's grace, I believe that I am the minister that I talked about becoming back in the 70's. When I left the business world in 1989, some people said, "good riddance." Others rejoiced (I'm sure of it). And now a good man like Paul says that he would be honored to stand on the chancel with me. Go figure. God is very, very good. Amen.
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