Act naturally. Deafening silence. Pretty ugly. Only choice. Accurate estimate. Congressional oversight. Grape Nuts. Common sense. Rice milk. Student athlete, Jumbo shrimp. Minor miracle, Objective opinion, Social security... and Responsible Grace. Oxymorons one and all, but it is the last one- Responsible Grace- that has been bothering me of late.
Responsible grace. Someone told me recently that "Responsible Grace," is sound Christian doctrine, but I wonder if it's not actually more of an oxymoron. Grace, as I've understood it, is unmerited favor, like the taste of Country Style Ice Cream or a loved one's smile. When our grandson, Archer, was younger, he would break into a run and a mile-wide grin as soon as he saw us. He ran with joy, seeing only us in a sea of faces, and his joy brings tears to my eyes. It is grace and I did nothing to deserve it! Grace, to me, is unearned forgiveness, which is really all forgiveness, and grace is unmerited love, which is really all love, because things like forgiveness, grace, love and second-chances can only come as gifts. If "responsible grace" means offering grace only to those who deserve it, I want no part of it, and if it means that grace ought to be reserved for those who have done their part, I would never have received it.
You remember the parable of the loving father, whose prodigal son squanders a considerable amount of his family's money on wine, women and song, and then comes home when everything runs out on him. Well, as you know, the prodigal's older brother knows that his brother doesn't deserve grace and he simply won't have any part of it, even though his father pleads with him. Fortunately, his father's joy cannot be complete without unfettered grace, but many of us are more like the older brother! I read a story about an old man whose diligent daughter took.care of him while her brother disappeared for months at a time. She visited her father frequently, met his every need, and agreed to sing a special song at his funeral service. Finally, that day came, and as she was taking care of things at the front of the parlor, her wayward brother entered the funeral home from the rear. Immediately everyone made a "big deal" over his arrival. "Hi Jack! How's it going, Jack! Nice to see you, Jack." The older sister seethed. How dare her brother barge in now. She and her father had not seen him for months. Then it struck her- the song that she had been asked to sing for her father... was a song to Jack. It was her father's way of saying, "Son I love you. Welcome back!." Her song, as it turned out, was her brother's song, and she vowed immediately that no power on earth would get her to sing it.. And she didn't. She didn't sing the song and a moment of reconciliation slipped away. If not singing our love songs is "responsible grace," you can have it because it's not for me.
Giving grace on our own terms makes a mockery of the word, but I admit that grace CAN BE abused and even manipulated. In Yancy's book, What's So Amazing About Grace, he tells of a man who matter-of-factly told him that he was going to leave his wife for a younger woman, knowing that God would forgive him when he did. Likewise, I recently had a church member ask me for a $100 so that he could show his girlfriend a "better time." Now, this same man sends money to internet girlfriends and still seeks money from the church, and what is more- he probably always will.. We like to think that people in need are ordinary people who are just momentarily down on their luck, and that once we give them a helping hand, they will get a job, give up their sins, and become contributing members of society. But chances are, they won't. The unemployed person who needs $500 for rent this month will need $500 for rent next month, and the same needy individual who seems "out of control" this month will surely be "out of control" next month. What is to become of these people, and what are we to do with them. Does responsible grace say "no," if they don't "shape up and fly right?"
I am little more than a forgiven sinner, and knowing myself to be forgiven, I live for God everyday now,. I live to please my Lord, but I never think about being responsible or irresponsible, for that matter. I simply do what love demands, and now we have uncovered the anecdote for cheap grace, and that anecdote is love! Responsible grace, whatever it is, isn't necessary at all if we love the One who gave us a second chance and a new name. I read a story about a man who tried to rescue a scorpion that was caught up in some twigs along a river bank. He reached ever so slowly from above, and the scorpion stung him. So, he made a faster move from the other side, and...the scorpion stung him again, and again and again. Finally, another fellow along the shoreline shouted, "Mister, let it go. That scorpion will sting you every time." "Yes," the would-be savior replied. "I know. It is the scorpion's nature to sting, but it is my nature to save!" It seems to me that God gave His life for me, not really knowing if I would be responsible or not, because grace is God's nature.
At this point in my life as a pastor, I've heard every excuse there is for needing money. I know that some people "work the system" by going from church to church with the same story, and I realize that most of the people who "took advantage" of our grace when I was in Peoria 15 years ago are still doing so today! I know all of this, BUT I cannot embrace a thing called "Responsible Grace." It is an oxymoron to me. It is too man-made, too narrow,, and too Pharisaic. Grace that is not given.... freely, radically, and maybe even dangerously, is not grace at all. Sherry and I have two daughters, two granddaughters, and two grandsons (okay, Donald is our great-grandson) and we love them all unconditionally. No matter what they do or do not do, no matter how often they do it, if they run off and come back a hundred times, seeking the same help with the very same needs, I pray that I will always run to meet them.
I said some of this to a civic group once, and after my speech, an elderly woman told me that I had touched her heart with the little story about the woman who wouldn't sing for her brother. She said that, when he father was dying, he told her to give her brother his full share of his inheritance. She remembered saying, "Daddy, it won't last a week. You know that Randy will spend it foolishly." She says that her sister agreed with her, but their daddy insisted that they give Randy his full share. They did as they were asked, and the woman said that it took her many, many years to see what her daddy meant. Now 82, and with tears in her eyes, she told me that she understands why her daddy gave his son his full share, irresponsibly and without conditions. Amen
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