TOP 10 SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE

       Recently, I had the privilege of officiating at our granddaughter's wedding. She married a wonderful man, whom we are pleased to have in our family, and I am sure that the love they share is both deep and real. However, since marriage is such a magnificent gift, it must be handled with the utmost care... and with this in mind, I offered Brooke and Justin what I called "Poppy's 10 Secrets to A Happy and Lasting Marriage."
10. Keep the fire burning. Keep the love that brought you to this moment alive... by establishing and jealously guarding a date-night throughout your marriage. Yes, I know. Most of your nights so far have been date nights... but over the course of time, when being "in love" evolves into "love" and responsibilities mount, it will be tempting to let romance die. Don't do it! Keep the fire burning;
9.  Be more together than you ever were alone. You've known one another for a long time now. Indeed, this is your 11th anniversary tonight... but tomorrow will be a new beginning because in marriage, you are a new creation. You will be one... and the great mystery is this: in being one, you will both be magnified! Marriage is not a trade-off, it is not a contest, and most assuredly, it is not a battle of wills. It is a victorious surrendering to the new "you" in a way that fulfills each one of you. It is my prayer that neither one of you will ever be tempted to overshadow the other;
8.  Stay out of the reconstruction business. Don't try to remake or reshape the other person in your own image. Instead, let love be your business and continue to accept the person whom you are actually marrying. Remaking an object is possible, if you have the talent, but remaking a person is not. It doesn't work and it frustrates everyone;
7.  Be a cheerleader. In a world filled with critics, be your spouse's biggest cheerleader. The world is tough enough and we all need at least one person in our corner. The world is filled with doubters and we all need at least one person who believes that, despite evidence to the contrary, there is greatness within us. None of us is perfect and each of us can count... but marriage is no place for scorekeepers;
6.  Be open and vulnerable to one another. In marriage, we are naked in the deepest sense of the word. In marriage, there is no place to hide... and this is a huge blessing because our greatest need... is to be known and loved anyway! Being known and loved anyway is God's gift in Christ, but our greatest chance of receiving this gift on earth... comes in marriage. So, don't squander it by playing games, keeping secrets, and wearing masks;
5.  Don't major in the minors.  Some things are irritating, some things are worth dying for, and some things don't matter. Remember this when differences crop up. As Robert Fulghum noted in one of his books, There are lumps in the oatmeal, there are lumps in the throat, and there are lumps in the breast. Learn the difference;
4.  Stay Connected. People tell me that they have "drifted apart." They tell me that they no longer have "anything in common," but how can this happen to two people who put the health of their union above everything else! Be interested in each other's life. Ask questions about each other's day. Laugh and cry with one another's stories. Stay involved in your partner's life and you will not drift apart;
3.  Forgive, forgive, and then forgive again. Let me say it clearly: though I love both of you dearly, each of you will need to forgive...and be forgiven... and since marriage is life's most intimate stage, I am sure that Jesus had marriage in mind when he said that we should forgive 70x7... which doesn't mean 490 times, but again and again, endlessly! Resentments are spiritual cancers, grudges are toxic, evening the score is nonsensical. Only love will give life to a marriage, and forgiveness is love's first cousin;
2.  Keep your feet moving. I saved this until now because anything worth having takes effort, and when all is said and done, a big part of success is keeping your feet moving. When troubles brew, keep your feet moving; when you're disappointed and angry, maybe even broken, keep your feet moving; when you discover what the "worse" in "better or worse" actually means, keep your feet moving. If you keep your feet moving and continue to keep the vows you make today, you will be blessed;
1.  Keep the faith! Many years ago, Brooke asked me if there was "anything to all the things she was hearing in Sunday School," and I will answer that now... by saying it is Jesus Christ who turned my life around. Before I accepted Jesus, I was an odd admixture of pride and fear. I pretended to be confident, but mostly, I was whistling past my own graveyard... because I had no promise, no hope, no assurance. It was believing that changed poppy's life- so yes, there is something to it- and I would encourage both of you... to choose to believe.
      Amen... and God bless both of you. Brooke, I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me the honor of walking you down the aisle tonight. Please join hands and repeat after me.....