Last Thursday, I gave my stoles to a new friend in town. He's a young preacher and I wanted to give him a welcome-to-the-ministry gift. He will wear them well... and besides, I won't be needing them anymore... because my last day in the pulpit will be August 23, 2015. Today, I am writing my last Pastor's letter (below) and this coming Saturday, I will officiate at my mother's graveside service in Des Moines. I'm praying that it will be the last funeral service I will ever do. When you near retirement, you're in for a lot of "lasts," and it's hard to do anything or see anyone for the last time- especially if you know it's the last time. The same can be said for serving communion and teaching Bible studies- although I will cling to my Wednesday morning study for as long as I can.
First, as I write my last letter to the members at SPPC, I want to express my gratitude for your support and for going out of your way to share your lives with Sherry and me. If you shared a meal with us, invited us to a QC event, let me into your golf circle, or befriended Sherry... we thank you! If you caught any part of the vision I tried to cast, or heard God's word in a new way from my preaching and teaching, I am thrilled! If I was able to give you grace in your hour of darkness, I am humbled. Being here has been a good thing for all concerned. I was able to strengthen SPPC's faith journey, unify members as a church family, re-energize our children's ministries, welcome dedicated Christians into our fold, encourage members to get more deeply involved in church leadership, and initiate any number of new ministries. I feel good about these things, but I am disappointed in my inability to add to the numbers on Sunday mornings or on our ministry teams. Perhaps, these goals will be on the next pastor's plate... which brings me to your future.
Friends, I will have no involvement in the search for you new pastor. None at all. But I will say these things before I go: 1) Call a pastor who knows Christ- a man or woman who really, really knows Christ; 2) Call a pastor whose first book of authority is the Bible, and who preaches from it every Sunday; 3) Call a pastor who will challenge your leaders to be servant-leaders... and who will lead your Session into a deeper and more transforming relationship with Christ; 4) Call your Session to be bold because the Holy Spirit is bold... and remind them that bold means BOLD; 5) Love one another as Christ loved you- sacrificially and with forgiveness- and learn to see Christ is every single one of them; 6) Encourage your pastor to help you improve your prayer life, and if that doesn't seem to be his/her cup of tea, improve your prayer life anyway... because a non-praying church is a church that has lost communication with God; 7) Follow the vision and listen to the prophets in your midst. There's a time when an organization has the luxury of coasting... BUT for SPPC, this time is gone! The time has come for you to cross the Rubicon and ride fearlessly into the future that God has in store for you!
As for me, I'm going to write. I will miss my ministry. I won't miss the church- although Sherry and I will find a church to attend in the Chicago area- but I will miss doing what I love most.... which is preaching, teaching, and pastoral care. It is a privilege to preach God's word- an honor- and I've never taken it lightly. I love the word of God and I hope that my love has shown through to you. I love teaching too, which is why I've taught so many classes. I love the Gospels, the Old Testament, and I've learned to love Paul. They give me joy, and I hope that my joy has been visible to you. However, the most sacred thing I've done is to "be Christ" to families who are facing death. I've been blessed to sit with many of you as a loved one is dying, or has just died... and I know... the awkward silence... of that moment well. Then, the silence gives way to tears, stories about the person who died, funeral details, unexpressed confusion, visible pain, and exhaustion. It's always the same... but when I leave the family's presence, I know for sure that I've been on holy ground. Praise God, if death can't conquer faith, nothing ever will.
It took her awhile. She was suspicious at first. She didn't trust pastors... but in the end, she told me that I was the "real deal." You're the "real deal," she said, and her affirmation has never left my mind... because being the "real deal" was always my greatest goal... and my greatest prayer. Keep Sherry in your prayers... and don't give up on SPPC.
Leheitraot,
pk
PK IN SWEDEN
Monday, July 27, 2015
Sunday, July 26, 2015
REMEMBERING LARRY SHEDENHELM
Has it really been seven years since my brother, Larry, passed on? No, it doesn't seems possible, but on July 23, 2010, my younger brother, Larry, joined my youngest brother, Randy, and our father, in death. Larry was a good man and I miss him dearly. As we reared our families and built our separate careers, I often wished that I could've made the polished, professional impression that Larry did. He dressed impeccably and he always seemed to be in control of himself. He was direct and honest, but soft-spoken. He listened more than he talked. He was strong, but measured, and while he wasn't a "bleeding heart," no man ever loved his family more than he did.
Larry was committed to doing the right thing and leaving a mark on this world that others would be proud of... and he did just that. If life was "fair," Larry would be alive today. He would be retired now... tending to his backyard and still loving his kids and their kids. If life was fair, Larry would still be the family's number 1 grill-master, and he and I would have even more time to golf. He was always a better golfer that I was, but I enjoyed every minute of our time together. If he were alive today, my world would be richer, and I know that this is true for everyone who loved him... and especially for his immediate family. If Larry was a live today, we could share our love for the grocery business, tell the old stories about our growing up, and solve the world's problems (which we didn't always see in exactly the same way).
But life isn't fair... and Larry is not with us anymore. It's a sad thing, but within that sadness, there are countless moments of joy that still make me smile. There are also memories that live on and on and on, just as Larry does in his Creator's hands. Before he died, I asked Larry if he thought he would see our brother, Randy, on the other side... and Larry said that he didn't know if he would "see" Randy or not, but he believed that he would feel Randy's presence and "know" that he "was there." Well, even though I'm educated in such things, I don't actually know much about life after... what we call... death... because I haven't been there. But I do know that there is joy and peace wherever God is, and I know that God's love is much bigger and much stronger that anything we have ever even imagined. And I've learned that God, the promise-maker, is very much a "promise-keeper." In short, I trust God and I believe that my brother, Larry, has already seen His face.
Larry, I think about you often- sometimes when I'm just driving along the road, sometimes when I hit drive just about as far as you would've hit it, and every time, when I see a Facebook posting of my nephews and niece, and their growing families. The little ones who ran to you in 2010 are bigger now and there are new, little ones... who will never get to have that joy. But they're doing well because they hang together and because they are also in God's hands! I miss you deeply. You were not only my brother, You were my best friend. Love you, K.
Larry was committed to doing the right thing and leaving a mark on this world that others would be proud of... and he did just that. If life was "fair," Larry would be alive today. He would be retired now... tending to his backyard and still loving his kids and their kids. If life was fair, Larry would still be the family's number 1 grill-master, and he and I would have even more time to golf. He was always a better golfer that I was, but I enjoyed every minute of our time together. If he were alive today, my world would be richer, and I know that this is true for everyone who loved him... and especially for his immediate family. If Larry was a live today, we could share our love for the grocery business, tell the old stories about our growing up, and solve the world's problems (which we didn't always see in exactly the same way).
But life isn't fair... and Larry is not with us anymore. It's a sad thing, but within that sadness, there are countless moments of joy that still make me smile. There are also memories that live on and on and on, just as Larry does in his Creator's hands. Before he died, I asked Larry if he thought he would see our brother, Randy, on the other side... and Larry said that he didn't know if he would "see" Randy or not, but he believed that he would feel Randy's presence and "know" that he "was there." Well, even though I'm educated in such things, I don't actually know much about life after... what we call... death... because I haven't been there. But I do know that there is joy and peace wherever God is, and I know that God's love is much bigger and much stronger that anything we have ever even imagined. And I've learned that God, the promise-maker, is very much a "promise-keeper." In short, I trust God and I believe that my brother, Larry, has already seen His face.
Larry, I think about you often- sometimes when I'm just driving along the road, sometimes when I hit drive just about as far as you would've hit it, and every time, when I see a Facebook posting of my nephews and niece, and their growing families. The little ones who ran to you in 2010 are bigger now and there are new, little ones... who will never get to have that joy. But they're doing well because they hang together and because they are also in God's hands! I miss you deeply. You were not only my brother, You were my best friend. Love you, K.
Saturday, July 25, 2015
Paying More than You Expected to Pay
It was in the spring of the year... when kings led their armies to war. David had always done this because he was a self-confident and brave man... but in the spring of this particular year, he stayed home. I don't know why David didn't go to war on this one occasion, but I do know that he saw a woman bathing from his rooftop. Some men would've turned away, but David took in her beauty, and found out who she was and sent men over to her (and her husband's) home .. to bring her back to him. They did as they were told and she did too. His men brought her to him and the two of them had sex. If you can get beyond the immense power differences between them, their tryst had the look of a one-night stand. Bat-Sheba went back to her life and continued to wait for her husband, Uriah, to return from battle... because that's where he was- putting his life on the line for the king whom he adored.
One could call their night a "conquest,"or maybe David initiated the sin simply because he could. But things went wrong when David discovered that his lover was pregnant. Some men would've confessed their sin at that point... and paid whatever the fiddler was charging. But David was concerned about his reputation... and he hatched a plan to obscure his role in the pregnancy. He sent for Uriah, and when the warrior reported to him, David couldn't praise him enough. You're my kind of man, he told Uriah, and you need a little TLC... so get over to your home and "wash your feet." If Uriah would have sex with his own wife, he'd always consider the child to be his. However, Uriah didn't have sex with Bathsheba. He bunked down with his comrades instead, and David was not pleased with Uriah's character and resolve. Stay one more night, he told him, and hang out with me. Uriah was thrilled to have personal time with his king, and the two of them drank well into the night. No one knows how much they drank, but David was sure that they had consumed enough to "loosen Uriah up." However, Uriah did not weaken, which prompted David to employ plan B. He wrote a note to Joab, telling him to abandon Uriah on the front line, and Joab, who was no poet in the first place, did just that. Uriah died that day, in the line of duty... and David was home free,
Except that God had seen it all, and he sent his prophet, Nathan, to tell David a story. There was a rich man, who had a huge flock of sheep, and this rich man lived near a poor man, who had one lamb, who was a family pet. The kids loved to play with the lamb, whom they called "Billy." Well, one day, the rich man had an important visitor, who expected a meal... but he didn't want to lose one of his own lambs. So, he took the poor man's only lamb and fed it to his guest, Nathan asked, "What do you think of that, David"? And the great King was outraged. Any man who would do what you just described should be put to death, he shouted! Then, in one of the Bible's better known lines, Nathan replied, "You are that man!" You are that man, and this child will die. Indeed, because of what you did, a scarlet thread of blood will plague your family from this day on.
Isn't that the way it always goes? Sin will always keep you longer than you intended to sat, and it will always cost you more than you intended to pay! David was in the wrong place, or at the very least, he lingered in the wrong place. David opened the wrong door. He knew that nothing really good could come from this sin, but he opened the door to possibility anyway; David made the wrong decision. As soon as he learned that Bathsheba was another man's wife, he should've let the idea go... but he sent for her anyway; 4) And he made another wrong decision when he decided that covering his sin up was better than confessing it; 5) And he made an inexplicably bad choice when he chose to "murder" Uriah. Wrong place, wrong couple, wrong agenda, manipulation, abuse of power, violation of trust. A night of conquest leading to progressively deeper sins and increasingly higher costs. That's always the way it goes... and sin will always weaken your relationship with God. Your guilt will choke off your prayer life, and if the sin goes on long enough, it will damage your relationship with Christian friends. However you can never be too far gone for God because God loves a contrite heart. David was forgiven (read Ps. 51). Chuck Colson was forgiven. I was forgiven. Any one who trusts in God will be a new creation. This is the truth of it, but beware: most of those who fall away from God's grace,,, will not have the humility to come back to Him on their knees.
One could call their night a "conquest,"or maybe David initiated the sin simply because he could. But things went wrong when David discovered that his lover was pregnant. Some men would've confessed their sin at that point... and paid whatever the fiddler was charging. But David was concerned about his reputation... and he hatched a plan to obscure his role in the pregnancy. He sent for Uriah, and when the warrior reported to him, David couldn't praise him enough. You're my kind of man, he told Uriah, and you need a little TLC... so get over to your home and "wash your feet." If Uriah would have sex with his own wife, he'd always consider the child to be his. However, Uriah didn't have sex with Bathsheba. He bunked down with his comrades instead, and David was not pleased with Uriah's character and resolve. Stay one more night, he told him, and hang out with me. Uriah was thrilled to have personal time with his king, and the two of them drank well into the night. No one knows how much they drank, but David was sure that they had consumed enough to "loosen Uriah up." However, Uriah did not weaken, which prompted David to employ plan B. He wrote a note to Joab, telling him to abandon Uriah on the front line, and Joab, who was no poet in the first place, did just that. Uriah died that day, in the line of duty... and David was home free,
Except that God had seen it all, and he sent his prophet, Nathan, to tell David a story. There was a rich man, who had a huge flock of sheep, and this rich man lived near a poor man, who had one lamb, who was a family pet. The kids loved to play with the lamb, whom they called "Billy." Well, one day, the rich man had an important visitor, who expected a meal... but he didn't want to lose one of his own lambs. So, he took the poor man's only lamb and fed it to his guest, Nathan asked, "What do you think of that, David"? And the great King was outraged. Any man who would do what you just described should be put to death, he shouted! Then, in one of the Bible's better known lines, Nathan replied, "You are that man!" You are that man, and this child will die. Indeed, because of what you did, a scarlet thread of blood will plague your family from this day on.
Isn't that the way it always goes? Sin will always keep you longer than you intended to sat, and it will always cost you more than you intended to pay! David was in the wrong place, or at the very least, he lingered in the wrong place. David opened the wrong door. He knew that nothing really good could come from this sin, but he opened the door to possibility anyway; David made the wrong decision. As soon as he learned that Bathsheba was another man's wife, he should've let the idea go... but he sent for her anyway; 4) And he made another wrong decision when he decided that covering his sin up was better than confessing it; 5) And he made an inexplicably bad choice when he chose to "murder" Uriah. Wrong place, wrong couple, wrong agenda, manipulation, abuse of power, violation of trust. A night of conquest leading to progressively deeper sins and increasingly higher costs. That's always the way it goes... and sin will always weaken your relationship with God. Your guilt will choke off your prayer life, and if the sin goes on long enough, it will damage your relationship with Christian friends. However you can never be too far gone for God because God loves a contrite heart. David was forgiven (read Ps. 51). Chuck Colson was forgiven. I was forgiven. Any one who trusts in God will be a new creation. This is the truth of it, but beware: most of those who fall away from God's grace,,, will not have the humility to come back to Him on their knees.
Saturday, July 18, 2015
HE'S ALL WE NEED
Abraham Maslow postulated that we all share a hierarchy of needs, beginning with the need to survive. If we're starving or dying of thirst, we'll do whatever we have to do to survive... but if we aren't in danger of dying, our minds turn to security. We don't want to lose what we have. We don't want someone to take it away, and we want a place where we can keep ourselves and our stuff safe. Survival and safety are basic needs, and they will always come to the forefront if we they are threatened. But if we have a little to eat and a place to call home, we begin to seek community. We need friends. We need groups to which we can belong. Our social needs become dominant because we need to belong. However, even if we have a hundred friends, we have a need to be recognized.We want our achievements to be rewarded. We want a gold watch when we retire. We want a trophy when we win. These are Maslow's first four needs. The first two are primitive. The second two are more advanced, but taken together... fulfilling these needs will not satisfy us... because we will never be whole unless we are "self-actualized."
We have a deep-seated need, Maslow maintained, to be what we were meant to be. A musician must play music. An artist must paint. A teacher must teach . In church, we call it a calling, which as Frederick Buechner noted, is that place where your greatest joy and the world's greatest need... meet. Most of us never find this place because we simply follow one foot after another into, let's say, the grocery business... or we make a strategic decision to be in that place where we have the greatest security... or make the most money- neither of which is sufficient to fulfill us. Most of us don't have the vision or the courage to find our calling... so we're never self-actualized... and in the end, we're disappointed with our own lives. This is a shame of course... but today I want to make the point that... that Jesus is our self-actualization. As a Christian who found new life in Christ, I want to say that Jesus is the answer to our needs- big and small.
We can, in some ways, meet our needs for survival, security, community, and status... without believing in Christ. There are legions of non-Christians who have more friends than I have... and even more who have more money. People can achieve a lot without Christ... but they will never be fulfilled. They will never know the joy of shalom, and they'll never know the thrill of being forgiven. Non-Christians can get a lot done- and skip all of our meetings too- but they'll never know the wondrous feeling of knowing that they are SOMEBODY in God's eyes. I am convinced of this: people are empty! They are much greater feelings of emptiness than feelings of guilt. They have holes in their souls, holes which cannot be filled with trophies, gold, degrees, or titles. Deep down, people feel small and anonymous. The believe that no one will love them if they know them, and they suspect that they'll never be noticed unless they have the biggest house, the shiniest car, and the most stuff in town. They bluff and bluster. They laugh and cry on cue, and they wear so many masks that they forget who they themselves were in the first place.
The people who gathered around Jesus had the same needs we do. They would kill to stay alive and they would fight for a place to stay. They had a need for food and they needed water too. They needed to love and be loved, and they needed somebody to know their names. More than that, they need hope... and forgiveness... and mulligans. They worried about the clothes they wore. They worried about the stuff they had stored away. They worried about being excommunicated and isolated from their community. They worried about their families and they worried about eternity... and Jesus said I AM the answer! Come to me, he said, and I will give you living water. Take and eat, he said, of my essence... because I am the bread of life. If you're worried, call on me. If you're walking in a valley, call on me. If you want to be important and useful, feed my sheep. If you want to make a difference, let me send you on a journey of faith. In Christ, we will find meaning and a deep security. In Christ, we will be in community with saints and servants from all times and places. In Christ, we will receive our crown.
We are fulfilled in Him! Please believe me and take a leap of faith. Many people would agree that they have all the needs I've mentioned... and they would also agree that they haven't been able to fulfill their deepest needs by acquiring money and things. But when it comes to making a decision for Jesus, they turn away... and try to fulfill their needs in the same old ways that they've tried before- even though they've never worked! Maybe they just don't get it. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they're scared. I don't know... but I do know that you will never, ever hunger again- not for love, not for forgiveness, not for worth, not for joy, not for peace, not for anything at all... because He is the Bread of Life! Amen.
We have a deep-seated need, Maslow maintained, to be what we were meant to be. A musician must play music. An artist must paint. A teacher must teach . In church, we call it a calling, which as Frederick Buechner noted, is that place where your greatest joy and the world's greatest need... meet. Most of us never find this place because we simply follow one foot after another into, let's say, the grocery business... or we make a strategic decision to be in that place where we have the greatest security... or make the most money- neither of which is sufficient to fulfill us. Most of us don't have the vision or the courage to find our calling... so we're never self-actualized... and in the end, we're disappointed with our own lives. This is a shame of course... but today I want to make the point that... that Jesus is our self-actualization. As a Christian who found new life in Christ, I want to say that Jesus is the answer to our needs- big and small.
We can, in some ways, meet our needs for survival, security, community, and status... without believing in Christ. There are legions of non-Christians who have more friends than I have... and even more who have more money. People can achieve a lot without Christ... but they will never be fulfilled. They will never know the joy of shalom, and they'll never know the thrill of being forgiven. Non-Christians can get a lot done- and skip all of our meetings too- but they'll never know the wondrous feeling of knowing that they are SOMEBODY in God's eyes. I am convinced of this: people are empty! They are much greater feelings of emptiness than feelings of guilt. They have holes in their souls, holes which cannot be filled with trophies, gold, degrees, or titles. Deep down, people feel small and anonymous. The believe that no one will love them if they know them, and they suspect that they'll never be noticed unless they have the biggest house, the shiniest car, and the most stuff in town. They bluff and bluster. They laugh and cry on cue, and they wear so many masks that they forget who they themselves were in the first place.
The people who gathered around Jesus had the same needs we do. They would kill to stay alive and they would fight for a place to stay. They had a need for food and they needed water too. They needed to love and be loved, and they needed somebody to know their names. More than that, they need hope... and forgiveness... and mulligans. They worried about the clothes they wore. They worried about the stuff they had stored away. They worried about being excommunicated and isolated from their community. They worried about their families and they worried about eternity... and Jesus said I AM the answer! Come to me, he said, and I will give you living water. Take and eat, he said, of my essence... because I am the bread of life. If you're worried, call on me. If you're walking in a valley, call on me. If you want to be important and useful, feed my sheep. If you want to make a difference, let me send you on a journey of faith. In Christ, we will find meaning and a deep security. In Christ, we will be in community with saints and servants from all times and places. In Christ, we will receive our crown.
We are fulfilled in Him! Please believe me and take a leap of faith. Many people would agree that they have all the needs I've mentioned... and they would also agree that they haven't been able to fulfill their deepest needs by acquiring money and things. But when it comes to making a decision for Jesus, they turn away... and try to fulfill their needs in the same old ways that they've tried before- even though they've never worked! Maybe they just don't get it. Maybe they're not ready. Maybe they're scared. I don't know... but I do know that you will never, ever hunger again- not for love, not for forgiveness, not for worth, not for joy, not for peace, not for anything at all... because He is the Bread of Life! Amen.
Thursday, July 16, 2015
TOP 10 SECRETS TO A HAPPY MARRIAGE
Recently, I had the privilege of officiating at our granddaughter's wedding. She married a wonderful man, whom we are pleased to have in our family, and I am sure that the love they share is both deep and real. However, since marriage is such a magnificent gift, it must be handled with the utmost care... and with this in mind, I offered Brooke and Justin what I called "Poppy's 10 Secrets to A Happy and Lasting Marriage."
10. Keep the fire burning. Keep the love that brought you to this moment alive... by establishing and jealously guarding a date-night throughout your marriage. Yes, I know. Most of your nights so far have been date nights... but over the course of time, when being "in love" evolves into "love" and responsibilities mount, it will be tempting to let romance die. Don't do it! Keep the fire burning;
9. Be more together than you ever were alone. You've known one another for a long time now. Indeed, this is your 11th anniversary tonight... but tomorrow will be a new beginning because in marriage, you are a new creation. You will be one... and the great mystery is this: in being one, you will both be magnified! Marriage is not a trade-off, it is not a contest, and most assuredly, it is not a battle of wills. It is a victorious surrendering to the new "you" in a way that fulfills each one of you. It is my prayer that neither one of you will ever be tempted to overshadow the other;
8. Stay out of the reconstruction business. Don't try to remake or reshape the other person in your own image. Instead, let love be your business and continue to accept the person whom you are actually marrying. Remaking an object is possible, if you have the talent, but remaking a person is not. It doesn't work and it frustrates everyone;
7. Be a cheerleader. In a world filled with critics, be your spouse's biggest cheerleader. The world is tough enough and we all need at least one person in our corner. The world is filled with doubters and we all need at least one person who believes that, despite evidence to the contrary, there is greatness within us. None of us is perfect and each of us can count... but marriage is no place for scorekeepers;
6. Be open and vulnerable to one another. In marriage, we are naked in the deepest sense of the word. In marriage, there is no place to hide... and this is a huge blessing because our greatest need... is to be known and loved anyway! Being known and loved anyway is God's gift in Christ, but our greatest chance of receiving this gift on earth... comes in marriage. So, don't squander it by playing games, keeping secrets, and wearing masks;
5. Don't major in the minors. Some things are irritating, some things are worth dying for, and some things don't matter. Remember this when differences crop up. As Robert Fulghum noted in one of his books, There are lumps in the oatmeal, there are lumps in the throat, and there are lumps in the breast. Learn the difference;
4. Stay Connected. People tell me that they have "drifted apart." They tell me that they no longer have "anything in common," but how can this happen to two people who put the health of their union above everything else! Be interested in each other's life. Ask questions about each other's day. Laugh and cry with one another's stories. Stay involved in your partner's life and you will not drift apart;
3. Forgive, forgive, and then forgive again. Let me say it clearly: though I love both of you dearly, each of you will need to forgive...and be forgiven... and since marriage is life's most intimate stage, I am sure that Jesus had marriage in mind when he said that we should forgive 70x7... which doesn't mean 490 times, but again and again, endlessly! Resentments are spiritual cancers, grudges are toxic, evening the score is nonsensical. Only love will give life to a marriage, and forgiveness is love's first cousin;
2. Keep your feet moving. I saved this until now because anything worth having takes effort, and when all is said and done, a big part of success is keeping your feet moving. When troubles brew, keep your feet moving; when you're disappointed and angry, maybe even broken, keep your feet moving; when you discover what the "worse" in "better or worse" actually means, keep your feet moving. If you keep your feet moving and continue to keep the vows you make today, you will be blessed;
1. Keep the faith! Many years ago, Brooke asked me if there was "anything to all the things she was hearing in Sunday School," and I will answer that now... by saying it is Jesus Christ who turned my life around. Before I accepted Jesus, I was an odd admixture of pride and fear. I pretended to be confident, but mostly, I was whistling past my own graveyard... because I had no promise, no hope, no assurance. It was believing that changed poppy's life- so yes, there is something to it- and I would encourage both of you... to choose to believe.
Amen... and God bless both of you. Brooke, I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me the honor of walking you down the aisle tonight. Please join hands and repeat after me.....
10. Keep the fire burning. Keep the love that brought you to this moment alive... by establishing and jealously guarding a date-night throughout your marriage. Yes, I know. Most of your nights so far have been date nights... but over the course of time, when being "in love" evolves into "love" and responsibilities mount, it will be tempting to let romance die. Don't do it! Keep the fire burning;
9. Be more together than you ever were alone. You've known one another for a long time now. Indeed, this is your 11th anniversary tonight... but tomorrow will be a new beginning because in marriage, you are a new creation. You will be one... and the great mystery is this: in being one, you will both be magnified! Marriage is not a trade-off, it is not a contest, and most assuredly, it is not a battle of wills. It is a victorious surrendering to the new "you" in a way that fulfills each one of you. It is my prayer that neither one of you will ever be tempted to overshadow the other;
8. Stay out of the reconstruction business. Don't try to remake or reshape the other person in your own image. Instead, let love be your business and continue to accept the person whom you are actually marrying. Remaking an object is possible, if you have the talent, but remaking a person is not. It doesn't work and it frustrates everyone;
7. Be a cheerleader. In a world filled with critics, be your spouse's biggest cheerleader. The world is tough enough and we all need at least one person in our corner. The world is filled with doubters and we all need at least one person who believes that, despite evidence to the contrary, there is greatness within us. None of us is perfect and each of us can count... but marriage is no place for scorekeepers;
6. Be open and vulnerable to one another. In marriage, we are naked in the deepest sense of the word. In marriage, there is no place to hide... and this is a huge blessing because our greatest need... is to be known and loved anyway! Being known and loved anyway is God's gift in Christ, but our greatest chance of receiving this gift on earth... comes in marriage. So, don't squander it by playing games, keeping secrets, and wearing masks;
5. Don't major in the minors. Some things are irritating, some things are worth dying for, and some things don't matter. Remember this when differences crop up. As Robert Fulghum noted in one of his books, There are lumps in the oatmeal, there are lumps in the throat, and there are lumps in the breast. Learn the difference;
4. Stay Connected. People tell me that they have "drifted apart." They tell me that they no longer have "anything in common," but how can this happen to two people who put the health of their union above everything else! Be interested in each other's life. Ask questions about each other's day. Laugh and cry with one another's stories. Stay involved in your partner's life and you will not drift apart;
3. Forgive, forgive, and then forgive again. Let me say it clearly: though I love both of you dearly, each of you will need to forgive...and be forgiven... and since marriage is life's most intimate stage, I am sure that Jesus had marriage in mind when he said that we should forgive 70x7... which doesn't mean 490 times, but again and again, endlessly! Resentments are spiritual cancers, grudges are toxic, evening the score is nonsensical. Only love will give life to a marriage, and forgiveness is love's first cousin;
2. Keep your feet moving. I saved this until now because anything worth having takes effort, and when all is said and done, a big part of success is keeping your feet moving. When troubles brew, keep your feet moving; when you're disappointed and angry, maybe even broken, keep your feet moving; when you discover what the "worse" in "better or worse" actually means, keep your feet moving. If you keep your feet moving and continue to keep the vows you make today, you will be blessed;
1. Keep the faith! Many years ago, Brooke asked me if there was "anything to all the things she was hearing in Sunday School," and I will answer that now... by saying it is Jesus Christ who turned my life around. Before I accepted Jesus, I was an odd admixture of pride and fear. I pretended to be confident, but mostly, I was whistling past my own graveyard... because I had no promise, no hope, no assurance. It was believing that changed poppy's life- so yes, there is something to it- and I would encourage both of you... to choose to believe.
Amen... and God bless both of you. Brooke, I will never be able to thank you enough for giving me the honor of walking you down the aisle tonight. Please join hands and repeat after me.....
Saturday, July 11, 2015
DANCING WITH ALL OF HIS MIGHT
Who can forget the epic scene in which Charlton Heston, playing Moses, parted the Red Sea so that the people of God could walk to freedom on the other side. I can still see them- men, women, children, livestock- scurrying through a God-made corridor, with the waters of the Red Sea forming walls on both sides. They made it, praise God, but the Egyptians were closing the gap as they rode their chariots into the middle of the sea... but the sea closed in over them and became a watery tomb. One call only imagine what the Hebrews felt- their joy, and relief, must have been palpable. They were free and they liked the taste of it... so Miriam (Ex. 13) took a tambourine in her hand.... and led the people in song as they danced with joy. Dance, dance, dance, people of God, for you are free! Her song doesn't rhyme well- at least not in English- but I'm sure that it had an engaging beat because the celebration had begun.
The psalmist began his great work by reminding us that reverence for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and then he expressed his fears and faith, his lament and praise, in 148 more psalms... but in the 150th, and last psalm, he wrapped things up with these words: Praise him with a blast of the lamb's horn, praise him with the lyre and harp; praise him with the tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flutes; praise him with a clash of cymbals, praise him with loud, clanging cymbals; let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord. David, it seems, was the 1st to call for praise music and this brings us to our Old Testament passage this morning. After Israel lost the ark of the covenant to the Philistines because of Phinehas' and Hophni's great sins and after a previous attempt to bring the ark back to Jerusalem failed, God had blessed its return and, at last, they were bringing it home. David went to Obed-Edom to get the ark, and he was so filled with praise... that he stopped and sacrificed to the Lord after they had traveled only six paces. Then, overcome with emotion, David danced before the Lord with all of his might. He danced with all of his might, and it was a spontaneous dance. He sprang around in half-circles with gusto and energy, and he leaped high and skipped like a lamb. It was a display of ecstasy and the Bible says that David was wearing a linen ephod. Actually, some versions suggest that he was ONLY wearing an ephod, which would've been quite a show because an ephod was something like an apron... BUT Scripture clearly says that David was wearing a linen ephod and a fine robe. So it wasn't what he revealed that his wife was angry about when he arrived home... but she was fighting mad because he had danced and carried on like an uncouth man at tavern. He had exposed himself as a fool, she thought, and acted in an unbecoming way for a king. Before he even had a chance to take off his sandals and rest, she began to berate him for acting in a disgusting way. A king, like a good Presbyterian, ought to have self-control. He ought to behave in ways that are orderly and refined, not disorderly and crude. But David said, God has appointed me King. God has blessed me above your father, Saul, and it is before God, and only God, that I worship. God is an audience of one. He is my only audience, and I will do baser things than what you saw... when the Spirit of God fills me with joy.
It's a wonderful and challenging story, isn't it? It is a story that's filled with questions. Does true worship demand a emotion? If God fills our hearts with praise, can we resist shouting, "Hallelujah"? If knowing that we're saved fills us with great joy, must we kick up our heels and dance a jig? Should we lose ourselves in worship of God... or be ever mindful of our station in life? The Book of Order calls for a balance between order and ardor.... but if we have to lean one way or the other, should we error on the side of control or expression? Is this a sanctuary... or a worship life center? Should it give birth to reflection... or celebration? I think it's impossible to dance without music, but what do you think? When I was a teen, my grandmother lived with us, and sometimes, when my friends were gathered in our home, she'd break out in song, "Rock of Ages, cleft for me," "On a hill far away, there's an old rugged cross..." and my friends would roll their eyes in disbelief. Your grandma's crazy, they would say, and I agreed... because I made it a practice of guarding my emotions (unless I was drinking)... but when Johnny Rodgers returned that punt against Oklahoma, when we turned against the grain, stumbled and regained his balance, and went for the touchdown, I jumped to my feet and shouted, "JR superstar, JR superstar!" I don't like the ridiculous end-zone dances I see... but I sure was excited when our daughter, Kendra, scored her first soccer goal... and even though I frown on it when others do it, I shouted out, "Go Kelli," when she received her first degree. I had too because my pride demanded it! My points are simply these- a) when we're personally engaged, our chances of emoting our increased- and b) when God is our audience, our chances of being free of what others think are enhanced.
Thus, without being manipulative, I would season our worship with more ardor... but the choice is yours... or more specifically, your elders. Your leaders are even now considering our style of worship, and as faithful Presbyterians, they will endeavor to make everyone happy... but if they must error in one direction or the other, how would you vote, considering the musical preferences of today and the music of yesterday? If you were Michal, and in some ways you are, would you meet David as she did... or would you applaud him for dancing with all of his might? How do you envision the Holy Spirit? Is he at work in our minds leading us to better decisions... or is he at work in our hearts so that we express ourselves with greater abandon? When I think about David's dance, I can't help but think of the prodigal's father, who ran down a dusty road to hug a son who had abandoned the family and squandered his inheritance. Running at all, let alone running down a dusty road, was unseemly in those times. Undignified and vulnerable. But the father's joy demanded it... because you can't really dance without music. Amen.
Pentecstals sang, wept, shouted, danced and swooned
The psalmist began his great work by reminding us that reverence for the Lord is the beginning of wisdom and then he expressed his fears and faith, his lament and praise, in 148 more psalms... but in the 150th, and last psalm, he wrapped things up with these words: Praise him with a blast of the lamb's horn, praise him with the lyre and harp; praise him with the tambourine and dancing, praise him with the strings and flutes; praise him with a clash of cymbals, praise him with loud, clanging cymbals; let everything that breathes sing praises to the Lord. David, it seems, was the 1st to call for praise music and this brings us to our Old Testament passage this morning. After Israel lost the ark of the covenant to the Philistines because of Phinehas' and Hophni's great sins and after a previous attempt to bring the ark back to Jerusalem failed, God had blessed its return and, at last, they were bringing it home. David went to Obed-Edom to get the ark, and he was so filled with praise... that he stopped and sacrificed to the Lord after they had traveled only six paces. Then, overcome with emotion, David danced before the Lord with all of his might. He danced with all of his might, and it was a spontaneous dance. He sprang around in half-circles with gusto and energy, and he leaped high and skipped like a lamb. It was a display of ecstasy and the Bible says that David was wearing a linen ephod. Actually, some versions suggest that he was ONLY wearing an ephod, which would've been quite a show because an ephod was something like an apron... BUT Scripture clearly says that David was wearing a linen ephod and a fine robe. So it wasn't what he revealed that his wife was angry about when he arrived home... but she was fighting mad because he had danced and carried on like an uncouth man at tavern. He had exposed himself as a fool, she thought, and acted in an unbecoming way for a king. Before he even had a chance to take off his sandals and rest, she began to berate him for acting in a disgusting way. A king, like a good Presbyterian, ought to have self-control. He ought to behave in ways that are orderly and refined, not disorderly and crude. But David said, God has appointed me King. God has blessed me above your father, Saul, and it is before God, and only God, that I worship. God is an audience of one. He is my only audience, and I will do baser things than what you saw... when the Spirit of God fills me with joy.
It's a wonderful and challenging story, isn't it? It is a story that's filled with questions. Does true worship demand a emotion? If God fills our hearts with praise, can we resist shouting, "Hallelujah"? If knowing that we're saved fills us with great joy, must we kick up our heels and dance a jig? Should we lose ourselves in worship of God... or be ever mindful of our station in life? The Book of Order calls for a balance between order and ardor.... but if we have to lean one way or the other, should we error on the side of control or expression? Is this a sanctuary... or a worship life center? Should it give birth to reflection... or celebration? I think it's impossible to dance without music, but what do you think? When I was a teen, my grandmother lived with us, and sometimes, when my friends were gathered in our home, she'd break out in song, "Rock of Ages, cleft for me," "On a hill far away, there's an old rugged cross..." and my friends would roll their eyes in disbelief. Your grandma's crazy, they would say, and I agreed... because I made it a practice of guarding my emotions (unless I was drinking)... but when Johnny Rodgers returned that punt against Oklahoma, when we turned against the grain, stumbled and regained his balance, and went for the touchdown, I jumped to my feet and shouted, "JR superstar, JR superstar!" I don't like the ridiculous end-zone dances I see... but I sure was excited when our daughter, Kendra, scored her first soccer goal... and even though I frown on it when others do it, I shouted out, "Go Kelli," when she received her first degree. I had too because my pride demanded it! My points are simply these- a) when we're personally engaged, our chances of emoting our increased- and b) when God is our audience, our chances of being free of what others think are enhanced.
Thus, without being manipulative, I would season our worship with more ardor... but the choice is yours... or more specifically, your elders. Your leaders are even now considering our style of worship, and as faithful Presbyterians, they will endeavor to make everyone happy... but if they must error in one direction or the other, how would you vote, considering the musical preferences of today and the music of yesterday? If you were Michal, and in some ways you are, would you meet David as she did... or would you applaud him for dancing with all of his might? How do you envision the Holy Spirit? Is he at work in our minds leading us to better decisions... or is he at work in our hearts so that we express ourselves with greater abandon? When I think about David's dance, I can't help but think of the prodigal's father, who ran down a dusty road to hug a son who had abandoned the family and squandered his inheritance. Running at all, let alone running down a dusty road, was unseemly in those times. Undignified and vulnerable. But the father's joy demanded it... because you can't really dance without music. Amen.
Pentecstals sang, wept, shouted, danced and swooned
Friday, July 3, 2015
AN OPEN LETTER TO MY MOTHER ON MOTHER'S DAY
Dear Mother,
When we last visited you in Gower, MO., Sherry and I decided to drive by her old apartment building in downtown Des Moines on the way home. So we took the Keosaqua exit and moved toward 7th street... only to encounter a world that I'd never seen before. We found the Commission for the Blind and we were excited because we knew that Sherry's old, rundown apartment was just a block away. But it was gone! It was completely gone, and I realized that there wasn't a soul in town who even knew that it existed! I was a stranger on the streets I thought were meant for me, and it was the last thing I needed in the week you died.
I loved you dearly, even with the "demons" that led you to believe that love was a zero-sum game, and despite the voices that told you that you would be nothing if you didn't grab center stage. You and I both knew that my home life was not the stuff of fairy tales. We both knew that conflict could break out at any moment, but there were good times too. I remember how often you played games with me and my friends, and how frequently you took us over to your mother's house, which gave me the chance to hangout with my Uncle Bill and my cousins- Del Jr. and "Butchy." Those were great times, but peace was hard to find. Hard for dad to find. Hard for me to find. Hard for you or my brothers to find. I also remember the conversation we had after one of my Mother's Day sermons at Arcadia Avenue Presbyterian Church. I mentioned that a Mother's loves comes as near to God's love as anything else on earth and I wished you a Happy Mother's Day from the pulpit. Afterwards, in a private moment, you told me how much you wished that things would've been better for my brothers and me. I told you that I did too, but that I was absolutely convinced that you did the best you could... and with tears in your eyes, you said, "Considering the circumstances, I suppose you're right."
O yes, mother, I knew that you wanted to be your best self. You are gone now, and Mother's Day has come again. You and dad are buried in the plot you picked out, within easy walking distance of your own mother's grave. Things have been good for your family since you passed away. Sherry's still holding her cancer at bay, and our girls are doing well. Brooke is about to have a baby, which will make us great-grandparents again. Larry's family is doing well in Texas. Wade and Erica have another son and Jayme got married recently. Sean and Tnette moved to Florida and Amanda is now married. Your brother, Bill, and his family are doing well, and your sister is still getting by. I'm still preaching, writing, and grateful to be in the ministry. Sherry and I plan on being at the Shedenhelm reunion in Belle Plaine this year and I intend to attend the Shedenhelm reunion in Ottumwa as well.
The river of life keeps flowing... but from time to time, my thoughts go back to a ranch house on Shawnee Place in Des Moines. I can see Larry and Randy in my mind's eye. I can see dad and I can see you. At times, I can almost hear your voices and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for doing the best you could. Your son, Kenn.
When we last visited you in Gower, MO., Sherry and I decided to drive by her old apartment building in downtown Des Moines on the way home. So we took the Keosaqua exit and moved toward 7th street... only to encounter a world that I'd never seen before. We found the Commission for the Blind and we were excited because we knew that Sherry's old, rundown apartment was just a block away. But it was gone! It was completely gone, and I realized that there wasn't a soul in town who even knew that it existed! I was a stranger on the streets I thought were meant for me, and it was the last thing I needed in the week you died.
I loved you dearly, even with the "demons" that led you to believe that love was a zero-sum game, and despite the voices that told you that you would be nothing if you didn't grab center stage. You and I both knew that my home life was not the stuff of fairy tales. We both knew that conflict could break out at any moment, but there were good times too. I remember how often you played games with me and my friends, and how frequently you took us over to your mother's house, which gave me the chance to hangout with my Uncle Bill and my cousins- Del Jr. and "Butchy." Those were great times, but peace was hard to find. Hard for dad to find. Hard for me to find. Hard for you or my brothers to find. I also remember the conversation we had after one of my Mother's Day sermons at Arcadia Avenue Presbyterian Church. I mentioned that a Mother's loves comes as near to God's love as anything else on earth and I wished you a Happy Mother's Day from the pulpit. Afterwards, in a private moment, you told me how much you wished that things would've been better for my brothers and me. I told you that I did too, but that I was absolutely convinced that you did the best you could... and with tears in your eyes, you said, "Considering the circumstances, I suppose you're right."
O yes, mother, I knew that you wanted to be your best self. You are gone now, and Mother's Day has come again. You and dad are buried in the plot you picked out, within easy walking distance of your own mother's grave. Things have been good for your family since you passed away. Sherry's still holding her cancer at bay, and our girls are doing well. Brooke is about to have a baby, which will make us great-grandparents again. Larry's family is doing well in Texas. Wade and Erica have another son and Jayme got married recently. Sean and Tnette moved to Florida and Amanda is now married. Your brother, Bill, and his family are doing well, and your sister is still getting by. I'm still preaching, writing, and grateful to be in the ministry. Sherry and I plan on being at the Shedenhelm reunion in Belle Plaine this year and I intend to attend the Shedenhelm reunion in Ottumwa as well.
The river of life keeps flowing... but from time to time, my thoughts go back to a ranch house on Shawnee Place in Des Moines. I can see Larry and Randy in my mind's eye. I can see dad and I can see you. At times, I can almost hear your voices and I want to take this opportunity to thank you for doing the best you could. Your son, Kenn.
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