When I started in my ministry, I had already been blessed with some experiences that I thought would serve me well. I had been a Toastmaster and a college teacher, I had acquired a graduate degree in Organizational Psychology, and I was familiar with several established theories of motivation and leadership. I had achieved some success as an executive in business, and I had a conversion experience that had given me a passionate faith. Moreover, since I had struggled with the things of the world, I considered myself to be something of a "wounded healer." I had a lot to offer and I couldn't wait to bless the church with my many gifts.
However, no one had informed the church, and I soon discovered that they were far more committed to one another and their shared past... than they were to a minister whom they had hired to serve them for a few years. I learned that the saints in the church world were much more interested in being served... than in being led. In fact, they actually resisted being led, and even those who were positive (which was always most of them) felt that they had hired more of a "partner" than any sort of "shepherd." It soon became clear that I would not be able to move people who had personal relationships that were dearer to them than survival itself! So I sought advice from two of my mentors- pastors Dan and Lu- and here's what I heard them say TO ME:
1. As a minister, you ARE a servant, Ken, and you must always be a servant... because ministering is NOT about self;
2. Every person in your church, Ken, has been equipped for ministry. Some of them have been blessed with insight and gifts of leadership. This doesn't mean that they're right, but it does mean that they have a voice and that you must listen;
3. Ministry does not have an agenda of accomplishing a predetermined result. It may or may not do that... but ministry is an act of love. Simply that and nothing more;
4. As a minister, your job is to be faithful- to give as much of yourself to as much of God as you understand on any given day. It is your job to prepare yourself, to show up on time, to cheer others on, to play as hard as you can, to run out every ground ball... BUT the results are in God's hands;
5. Ken, love the people. Love the people. This is what they said when I became concerned about having 100-200-500 "bosses" as a pastor- each one of whom saw himself or herself as a priority, many of whom had differing views on church matters, and none of whom really had to do anything I said in the first place. It was only a matter of time before I would disappoint or upset one or more of them. I was sure of that- so I asked for advice and this is what they said: "Love the people. Just love the people. If you love the people they will overlook many things and they will put up with all of your peculiarities, but if you don't love them... you would be better off to leave now... because what people need more than anything else is to be loved. People need to be loved and accepted. They need to know that God forgives them. That's what it means to be a minister- otherwise you should have gotten an MBA.
I've always remembered these words and I've taken them to heart. As I reflect on a ministry that is now winding down, I know that I made many mistakes. There were many times when I was not my best self and there are many things that I would change if I could. However, I thank God for giving me the privilege of loving His people for 25 years, and I can honestly say that I have loved them. Some have been easier to like than others. Some have been downright mean-spirited. Some of them have been supportive and some have worked to undermine my ministry. But I have loved them all. Each one. Without exception. And I praise God for it because people don't care what you know until they know that you care. Amen.
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