A Tribute to a Man of God

I have just posted a blog about my friend, Jeff Arduser, but I choose to post one more... because he touched our hearts so deeply and because he has left such a big empty place in our church family. It isn't possible to capture a life- any life- in words alone because they are always incomplete without the music. However, it is our custom and privilege to offer a eulogy when our friends pass away... and the following is essentially what I said at the "Celebration of Life" service we held for Jeff Arduser in our church this morning.
Let me tell you about a man of God…who was an angel in our midst. Let me tell you about a friend who gave far more sermons on the grace of God over the past four years than I have. He walked into my office with his wife and told me that he had decided to follow Christ in his daily life, and that he wanted to make SPPC his spiritual home. It’s not that he wanted to be Presbyterian- I don’t think he ever cared if he was Presbyterian- nor was he searching for a church to simply attend. On the contrary, he was embarking on a faith journey, not a church journey, and he wanted a place where the gospel was taught, where Christ was served, and where people loved one another. His wife was with him, and although I didn’t get the idea that she was against his decision, I did feel that she was afraid of where it would lead them. After all, her husband had entered surgery as a thoughtful man and a nice car salesman (yes, it's possible), and come out of surgery with an iron-clad decision to cast his die with Jesus Christ. He was marching to a different drummer and no one really knew where that would lead them.

Well, they joined our church and jumped in with both feet. Jeff joined our properties team and our men’s group, and Kelly was ordained as an elder in the Presbyterian Church USA.  Things were going pretty well for a while, even though Jeff’s cancer had metastasized. Jeff was strong. Kelly got a new job, and they were regularly sitting in their own pew.  But Jeff’s immune system was low and he was attacked by a life-threatening infection, which was a turning point… because it led him into an impossible situation. If they treated his cancer, the wound became worse, and if they treated his wound, the cancer spread... and Jeff began to weaken physically. But as he weakened physically, he showed greater strength spiritually… and he kept on proclaiming the greatness and the goodness of God… in person and especially on FB. He gave God the credit for all good things, and he continued to believe that all things are possible for God. He had led several members of his family to Christ, and he wanted the whole world to know Jesus. He kept on praising God, and he never complained. “How’s it going, Jeff?” you might say, and he’s say, “Fine.” Are you in any pain? Not really.  Are you feeling down? Oh no, why would I be feeling down. God is not done with me yet. I have my Lord, my rock (Kelly), my family, my friends, and my faith. I’m a wealthy man, pastor… and maybe you and Sherry can come over for a cookout in a week or two! 

That’s how it went with Jeff. He was always affirming, always positive, and even though I tried to get him to confess that he was struggling from time to time, he never did. Once, when Kelly asked him once if he was mad at God… she says he gave her the most incredulous look, as if to say, “I can't comprehend your question? How can I be mad at the One who created me, saved me, and who walks with me everyday?” I knew Jeff for some time and I talked with him many, many times… and I never heard him demean, undermine, or take another person’s inventory in any way- not once. He always affirmed others, made excuses for them, and some of us thought he may be too nice, too gentle… and get taken advantage of. But you never want to confuse grace with weakness, not kindness with complacency… because it was Jeff Arduser who changed his life and walked in faith, who led others to the same decision, who lobbied for this old pastor to keep his job, and who decided a week ago Thursday… to enter into the Kingdom of God. He said that his time had come, that he had a deep and abiding peace in his heart, and that he had no fear at all. He had just encountered another significant issue, which would’ve required another invasive surgery, that probably would not have worked and which he probably would not have survived… and he said “No. I will die as a man of faith, with the love of my life at my side. So, call the girls, mom, sis, and the family because God has blessed me with the chance to say “goodbye!” “You know,” he told Kelly, “We’ve had a good life,” and he told the girls how proud he was of both of them. “The only thing I ask,” he said, “Is that you look in on Kelly from time to time… and don’t lose contact with her.”

I had talked in depth with him and Kelly at their home some weeks before, and I felt that Jeff and I (and Kelly) connected at a deep level- that we had somehow touched the center of one another’s faith- and been blessed in doing it. I’d like to think that I added my two cents on that night, but it was Jeff’s turn to teach in the hospital… and he taught as if he had a Doctorate in faith. He taught us all that, not only is it possible to live as a Christian, but that it’s also possible to die as a Christian… but here’s the punchline…He ain’t dead! He ain’t dead! Jeff Arduser is alive, and he will always be alive… for the Bible says that those who live and trust in Christ will never die.  The angel asked Mary when she peered into the empty tomb, “Why do you search for the living among the dead? The one whom you seek is not here! He’s been resurrected…and in His name, Jeff has also, and he is with his God, singing the praise music that he loved, talking with his dad, and praying for Kelly and his girls. “Jesus,” he might be saying, “Give them full and vibrant lives- lives filled with love, purpose, and laughter. Nurture their faith, so that they will discover the depth of who they are and the mystery of life. Watch over mama, too, because she’s dealing with a lot of grief.”  Jeff Arduser, my dear friend...you kept the faith and showed us what it means to be a Christian. You loved your neighbors, you lived and died with peace and grace, and you made growing in Christ your passion. If it wasn’t for you, I wouldn’t have been here to walk with you and Kelly, and I would’ve missed one of my greatest joys. I wonder… if you ever thought of that. I don’t know... but I do know that when I left the hospital on Sunday night... there was a rainbow as big as the sky itself. Amen.

From the Car Lot to Heaven- Good Call, Jeff!

      Five years ago, a stranger walked into my office to talk about a faith journey. He had just undergone surgery for kidney cancer... and when the anesthesia wore off, he discovered that he had been "born anew." They hadn't cured his cancer, but when he was in the recovery room, he made an iron-clad commitment to live for God. He had always been a "nice guy." Everyone knew that, but when he came out of surgery he had decided to be a Christian. He had decided to embrace Christ as his Savior, and he was determined to live as if Christ was also his Lord... which is where we came in. He needed a place to live out his faith and so... he returned to the church where he and his wife had been married a few years before. Neither he nor his wife were particularly "churchy," and neither one of them had a denomination in mind... but they (he more than her) wanted to start a Christian journey. They joined our church in time, giving our leadership board a powerful testimony of faith, and they threw themselves into church work, Christian service, and Christian music. He helped us improve and maintain our property. She put together huge events like our annual rummage sale and served on our leadership board, and her mother (although she never joined the church) began to bake cakes and cookies for our fellowship hour and other events. They added a lot to our church... but
      His cancer had metastasized, his kidney function was badly compromised, and he picked up a life-threatening infection. Over time his health worsened and he left his longtime job as a car salesman. His wife resigned from her leadership positions at church and began to work more and more from home. Then... his remaining kidney failed and he began dialysis, but through it all... he remained faithful and hopeful. Nothing could wipe the smile from his face or the praise from his lips! Indeed, he became an evangelist through FB and continually proclaimed God's grace and steadfast love. He had already led his wife and several other members of his own family to the Lord... but he wanted the whole world that God is good. Day after day he lifted his voice in praise, and he never ever... gave up. He never quit...but in the end, he accepted his Father's will. He had become much weaker and was beginning to fall. To make matters worse, he needed additional surgery that would probably not work and which he would probably not survive. He could see that his time had arrived, and he knew it was time to go home. So, he did. Even as he had decided to live with faith, he decided to die with faith... and he never wavered from either decision.
      He set his face toward heaven last Friday... and his family and friends began to visit Saturday. As always, he greeted each one with smile and engaging words... as his 40 year-old wife held his hand. I told him that he had strengthened my own faith and left a huge imprint on our church. His sincerity was unquestionable. He trust was undeniable...and his commitment to live out his faith was unmistakable. Through all the struggles, he was at peace... and his wife was always strong! She said that if she started to cry, she would never stop- so she didn't cry. She stayed the course... as he quietly departed. Last night I delivered a copy of Jase Robertson's new book to them because they share my wife's love for the Robertsons... and as I left the hospital there was a rainbow as big as the sky, reminding me of God's giant "yes" to humanity and also that Jeff's decision to "let go and let God" was indeed a "Good Call," which is the title of Robertson's book.
      This morning, just before 7am, Kelly called and told us that Jeff had died, and I went to the hospital to join the family in their grieving, to offer a little support, and to say a prayer or two. There were enough tears to go around... but the room was also filled with faith. At last, they carried his body away and we all went our way as well. We will gather again this Saturday for a Celebration of Life. But for the moment, Jeff is free to dance and Kelly is free to cry. 
     Jeff Arduser, you brought many people to the Lord, you set an example of what it means to be a "Christian," you kept the faith, you fought the good fight, and you even fought to keep me as your pastor. You shared the old, old story, you lived out your faith, and you died with grace, reaching out ... as if Jesus was beckoning to you! No one could have possibly done more, Jeff! Goodbye sounds so final... so I will simply say "Leheitraot," which means something like, "See you later!"

DADDY DEAREST- A FEW THOUGHTS FOR FATHER'S DAY

      "My child arrived just the other day. He came to the world in the usual way. But there were planes to catch and bills to pay. He learned to walk while I was away. And he was talkin' fore I knew it, and as he grew, he'd say, 'I'm gonna be like you dad. I'm gonna be like you.' My son turned ten just the other day. He said, 'Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play. Can you teach me to throw?' I said, 'Not today, I got a lot to do.' He said, 'That's ok,' and he walked away, but his smile never dimmed and he said, 'I'm gonna be like him, yeah. I'm gonna be like him.' I've long since retired. My son's moved away. I called him up just the other day. I said, 'I'd like to see you if you don't mind.' He said, 'I'd  love too, dad, if I can find the time. You see my new job's a hassle and kids have the flu. But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.' And as I hung up the phone it occurred to me- he'd grown up just like me. My boy was just like me. The song? "Cat's In the Cradle." The year? 1974. The message? Forever true... because
1.    Good fathers must be good ROLE MODELS! I emphasize "good" because, whether we like it or not, we're all role models...  because kids learn most of what they learn about values from what they see. So, if you miss one of their activities for work, the kids "see" that work is more important... if you dump the kids off a church while you stay home, the kids "see" that that church really isn't all that important... and if you don't treat their mother with respect, the kids "see" that she really isn't valued much. Someone wiser than me said, "What you are speaks so loudly that I cannot possibly hear what you're saying," and I've never forgotten it. In fact, I think it lies at the core of the gospel because Jesus practiced what he preached. As fathers, parents, friends, we reap what we sow... so... sow seeds of kindness, respect and love wherever you go;
2.   Good fathers are PRESENT to their children because just  being present... is much of what's required. Even as God was present to the saints throughout the ages, and was present to you in your moment of need, we can be present to our children when they wonder and wander, when their eyes are filled with joy... or tears. As fathers, we must be present... because nothing good can happen if we're not. In the fall of '58, my father and I played catch for the only time in my life. One time... and I still remember it. After he had dropped a ball or two, dad said, "I'm not very good at these sort of things," which was true (he wasn't)... but he was more than good enough for me;
3.   Good fathers are STRONG ENOUGH TO BE GENTLE. This doesn't mean "weak" of course, and certainly not "wishy-washy," but it does mean that good fathers have enough maturity and depth to feel pain when their children are in pain, to listen when something important needs to be heard, and even to cry when tears are warranted, just as Jesus cried over Jerusalem . In Hosea's book, God reveals his heart... when he says, "It was I who taught Ephraim to walk. I took them up in my arms. I led them with bands of love; I bent down to feed them; I was to them like those who lift infants to their cheeks." Yes, our God is an awesome God and tenderness is part of his strength!
4.    Good fathers are AFFIRMING! In a world filled with critics, they are their children's biggest fans. Kids need to know that, when everything else runs out, their parents are on their side. I'm reminded of the true story of an Olympian who fell in a heap during the biggest race of his life. He was lying on the track, writhing in pain, when his father began to make his way quickly down from the stands, past the guards, and on to the track, where he bent down and lifted his son up. Then the two of them, arm in arm, began to walk toward the finish line. The young man finished last that day, but he didn't finish alone... because his dad walked him.
5.    Like the loving father in the story we know as the Prodigal Son, good fathers are PATIENTLY FORGIVING- YES EVEN FOREVER FORGIVING. You know the story of the Prodigal Son, so I will tell you a story of an old man and a dutiful daughter who had taken care of him for years. He told her what he wanted for his funeral, and she knew that he had told her... because she could handle it. She could handle anything, and besides, she had a gorgeous voice ... so she could sing the song that he had especially requested. Well, the day arrived, and while she was arranging things up front, her neer-do-well brother walked into the funeral home- with long disheveled hair, and his most recent girlfriend. She hadn't seen him for years and now she was incensed because everyone in the room was making a fuss over him. Then... it struck her. The special song that her father had requested was for her him! It was a love song to her brother. He had never given up on the boy. He was a good father, and she vowed that she would NOT sing the song.
6.    Good fathers are INTENTIONAL ABOUT BEING GOOD FATHERS, even as they are about anything else they really believe in. In his book, Good Call, Jase Robertson talks about being an intentional and loud Christian- deliberate and bold- and the same thing can be said about being a father. Let me close with an anonymous poem, "Walk a little plainer, daddy, said a little boy so frail. I'm following in your footsteps, and I don't want to fail. Sometimes your steps are very plain. Sometimes they are hard to see. So walk a little plainer, for you are leading me. I know that once you walked this way many years ago, and what you did along the way, I'd really like to know. For sometimes when I am tempted, I don't know what to do. So, walk a little plainer, daddy, for I must follow you. Finally...
7.    Good fathers LEAD THEIR FAMILIES in a faith journey... because matters of faith are real and powerful, and because the grace and strength to be a good father... comes from their relationship with God the Father in the first place! If we invest in matters of faith, we will have a broader and deeper truth to offer our children, and we will know what it means to be fully human. Fathers, if we put matters of faith first, we will give our kids a wonderful gift and they will see life in ways that are truly transforming. The world will always tempt them and beat up on them, but without faith, it may well have its way with them. So... let your children see that you put your trust in God and build your life around his word. If you don't, they won't... but if you do, they will... and our Father in heaven will be pleased. Amen.

I SAW JESUS THIS WEEK

      When the Son of Man returns, Matthew says, he will put "the sheep" at his right hand (always preferred in ancient times) and "the goats" at his left. We, it seems, will ultimately be either sheep or goats- and important distinction because it is the sheep who obey their shepherd- and it turns out that this is only one difference between the two. If we treat those who are in need (ill, isolated, frightened, imprisoned, poor, abused, dying, or stranger to us) as if they were Jesus himself, we will be "inherit the kingdom prepared for us" and sing love songs forever. That's it! For those of you who are interested in eternity, Matthew 25 gives you your final test... and it's open-book! To pass your final exam you won't have to know a single theologian's name or belong to any particular church. Heaven will be yours...if you see and respond to Jesus as he appears in the alleyways of the city, in our meal sites and food pantries, in our used clothing stores and overcrowded emergency rooms, in our prisons and rehabilitation centers, or maybe just sitting alone in some cheap-jack nursing home. God appears in unexpected people... so be alert. If you show ALL people the grace that God has given to you- without regard to color, age, education, or sexual preference-you will ace your final exam.
      But we (or should I just say "I") are too self-absorbed to take the risks or go to the effort of loving others. We are too egocentric to see Christ in the least among us and too frightened to respond when we do. Generally speaking, I take myself too seriously and I'm in too much of a hurry. Even though I know that it doesn't make sense, I find myself thinking that other people should defer to my agenda and my priorities, as if it's all about me. Sometimes I even get the notion that other people- slow drivers in the fast lane, people wearing big hats in the row in front of me, and needy people who don't seem to be trying hard enough- are deliberately raining on my parade. For instance... a few days ago, I stopped at a local restaurant to buy dinner for my wife. She hadn't been feeling well, and I thought it would be a thoughtful thing to do. So, even though I didn't have the time, I walked into Dr. Gyro's to order a Chicago-style hot dog to go. There was just one other couple in the place and I was happy... but one of them, a bent-over and ragged old man, was telling the cashier his life story. "I haven't been here in years," he said, as he tried to look around the cash register. He had to do this because he was bent double and his head was literally at the level of his waist. "I love this place," he said, "And I was really looked forward to getting here today because I don't get out much anymore." "What would you like?", the  man behind the counter asked in an effort to steer the conversation away from the weather, baseball, the crime rate, and a host of other things. There was a full-grown woman with this man- perhaps his daughter- and she had trouble making up her mind too. Finally, after what seemed to be forever, they ordered and began to move away from the cash register... when the old man said, "It's too bad you don't sell chili anymore." "Oh, we sell chili, sir." "Yes, but only on certain days." "No, we sell chili every day, sir. Would you like some?" He turned to his female companion and asked, "Do you want some chili?" "No," she answered, "But you can have some chili if you want." "I don't know, maybe," he replied. "You know what," she said to the cashier,"Add a small chili to our bill and we'll take it to go." Another transaction. Another delay. Evidently they didn't know how important I am, didn't appreciate how thoughtful I am...and I was ready to walk out.
      Why didn't this employee recognize that I had been waiting? Why didn't he know that he wasn't being paid to chit-chat? Why did the old man talk so much? Why wasn't he dressed better? Why couldn't the woman find the water button on the soft drink dispenser? What was I doing there anyway? And then, I heard my better voice: preacher, practice what you preach... and open your eyes to what you are really seeing! The man you saw in the restaurant- the old black man in the shabby sports coat- was not trying to make your life difficult. Didn't you hear the joy in his voice? Didn't you see that being there really was a joy to him? It HAD been a long time since he had been there and he was tickled to death. Talking to people is not as common for him as it is for you, and it was fun for him to tell his story to another person. What's wrong with that? And the part about the chili- wasn't it worth a moment of your time... for him to take a memory, home? Open your eyes and see that you were blessed to watch a moment of joy in which a stranger listened to an old man and treated him as if he was somebody special! Sometimes God appears as a magnificent sunset. Sometimes he appears as a little child with a special need. Sometimes he stands at a cash register and talks about chili to anyone who will listen. Are you listening?
      Yes, I'm listening, Lord, and I promise to open my eyes... so that I will recognize Jesus when I see him in the least among us. Lord, please help me to take my eyes off my self so that I will see you when you are hungry, thirsty, lonely, abused, shut-in, shut-away, or lonely. Help me to see you in the neighbor who has always seemed odd to me, the grocery clerk who is working two jobs to make ends meet, the pregnant teen who comes to me seeking unconditional love, and as an old man who gets a kick out of a modest dining experience. Amen,