Tonight, I find myself thinking about Ray Lindig, whom I met nearly 20 years ago. He was a friend of mine in Peoria, and I had the privilege of conducting his funeral service. Over time, and during his last months, I spent a lot of time with Ray. It was an important point in my ministry because Ray let me walk with him, and because Ray forgave me for not attending his 50th wedding anniversary. He and his wife had invited me, but I had just arrived in Peoria and I really didn't know the Lindigs. I had a church to grow. I had important work to do, and besides, the Lindigs wouldn't miss me at their dinner anyway. But I was wrong. Terribly wrong. The Lindigs did miss me. I was their new pastor, and they wanted to show their family that I cared about them. They were church people and they wanted "the church" to be present at their special time.. They wanted their church to be with them... and I let them down. It's as simple as that! I should have been there. I had nothing better to do. Period. I was ordained to be there, and I didn't live up to my vows. In the end, Ray Lindig taught me a lot about 2nd chances, and I was able to thank him publicly during his funeral service. But sometimes, things don't end so happily.
It's been two decades since I first learned that presence is often the biggest part of ministry, but this week... I learned it again. Nothing- not intellect, nor charisma, nor good intentions- is more important than simply being present. While I've been in Rock Island, I've made many good decisions... but not visiting a friend in her Iowa City hospital room was a poor decision. Today, she was buried, and I wasn't there. This weighs heavy on my heart because I should've been there... and would've been there... if I had made one trip to Iowa City. As a pastor, I am accustomed to death, and as a Christian, I know that, in Christ, life goes on. I am not surprised that my friend died this week because she had been living with cancer for some time, but I'm very disappointed that she died without me. I had been her pastor since I've been in this town, and I knew her quite well. I spent a lot of time with her... but I didn't visit her when she needed me. I could have, of course, but it didn't seem necessary. Our parish nurse was in touch with her frequently, and when she returned to church, we talked about her time in the hospital on several occasions. She seemed fine, but she wasn't. So, I called and asked if I could visit her. "No," she said, it wasn't necessary, and besides, she said, she was leaving our church because I had hurt her feelings. I told her I was sorry. I apologized, and she accepted my apology. But she joined the church down the street.
Later, I heard that she was dying, and I called her again... to let her know that we would be a better church if she would come back. I told her that it would make me happier and may help her too, but my call was of no avail. Between that day and this day, I saw her several times at church functions, and at our last funeral luncheon, which was for a friend of hers, I made a point of sitting next to her so that I could talk with her at length. We had a nice chat, but she had moved on to another church (not the one down the street), and in the end, I was not able to be by her side when she died. If I had been with her, I would've told her that God loved her. I would've told her that I loved her too... but I never took the time to visit her when she was a patient in Iowa City.
May God be with those who loved her, and may He help me remember that there is nothing more important than simply being present.
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