PK IN SWEDEN

PK IN SWEDEN

Monday, July 8, 2013

PAULA DEEN'S SIN??

My father was politically incorrect, like virtually everyone else of his time. He fancied himself to be a "self-made man," and he believed that others should do the same. He grew up on a poor man's farm in central Iowa, and he lived in a house where food was hard to find, He and his brothers plowed their fields with a team of horses, and the family actually ate the game they shot. In short, self-reliance was all dad ever knew (there was no Social Security, nor any welfare programs), and he expected other people to be self-reliant too. Unfortunately, my father, who was in many ways a very strong man, was not strong on empathy. He neither saw... nor appreciated the reasons why someone may be poor, unmotivated, or in need. He seemed to dismiss the notion that life is not lived on a level playing field, and he was neither impressed nor envious that some people were born "on 3rd base." As far as dad was concerned, people who worked got ahead and those who didn't... didn't, and besides, he seemed to believe that people pretty much got what they deserved.

If anyone was ever born too late, it was dad. He was a "man's man"- a man who flew airplanes to the front lines in WWII and who achieved a measure of financial success, especially for an Iowa farm boy who had very little education. This may have been part of the reason why he was so politically incorrect (he told me once that I'd been educated out of my common sense), but in addition to a lack of anthropological and sociological courses, dad simply grew up in a small world.

Iowa is not the mecca of diversity- not even today- and many of the people who live there are suspicious of things that are "different." I remember the time when the men in Fredericksburg, Iowa gathered to discuss a "hippie" who had been hanging around town, and I also remember the time when my brother, Larry, and I drove from Omaha to Belle Plaine, for our grandmother's funeral. We arrived early and decided to have a cup of coffee at the local cafe. We felt like "home boys" when we entered (I was born there), but when we walked in, the cafe, fell into dead silence. Every neck turned our way and all eyes fell on us... because we were different. In any event, I am trying to make the case that a combination of self-reliance, poor education, and isolation gave my father a limited perspective on other peoples' stories and needs. He simply didn't take them into account, and more than that, like others in his time, he embraced cultural and ethic stereoptypes quite readily.

He was NOT a hateful or bitter man, but he told me more than once that there were black people and there were n ------s. The former group embraced the American dream and worked to claim it, but the latter group was composed of shiftless and lazy people, who were a burden to the rest of us. Black people were simply not cut out for success in his view, but it wasn't just black people. Women were essentially interchangeable in his view and unable to handle real jobs. They, like blacks and Mexicans, had their place, and whenever he met someone who undermined this stereotypical position, he chalked that person up as "an exception."  The "N word," was commonplace in our home, and I grew to despise it. Likewise, to dad, Mexicans were "wet backs;" Chinese were "chinks;" Italians were "dagos;" Brits were "limeys;" and the "mail man" was quite literally a man. I disdained all of these words and made fun of dad for using them. They only proved, in my mind, what I suspected anyway- that I was very, very smart and my father was very, very dumb. BUT I WAS WRONG. My father was not dumb. He was, in fact, very bright, and he was not hateful toward any individual person (I never once saw him treat anyone disrespectably). He was a product of his time and place, and what is more... he had an inalienable right to make an honest living and to the pursuit of happiness. He used the "N word," and he cussed like a sailor (is that PC?), but neither of these things had anything to do with the considerable good that he did!

Which bring me to Paula Deen. Why is a media-driven mob lynching Paula Deen?  I understand condemning her language and I can expected an outbreak of self-righteous agitation. It is fitting that she, or anyone else, who labels others in such a demeaning way are held accountable. An apology is mandatory, and her crazy idea of having a theme party in which her black employees would dress up like slaves and serve white people... is mind-boggling! I'm sure that Ms. Deen and I would not agree on much... except this: mob rule is an ugly thing that can become a devastating monster. Paula Deen should not use the "N word," and she could well benefit from sensitivity training, but does anyone really think that she should lose her livelihood? Does it seem "just" to drive a person into the darkness because she herself is a product of time and place? Can that possibly be right?

Let me be clear: I've never used the "N word," and I never will. Moreover, I am NOT a fan of Paula Deen's. Also, I would bet that she did not just use the "N" word just once- many years ago. My guess is that words like that, and certainly the views that undergird them, are part of her world and have been for a long time. Paula Deen is a cook who is famous for making food that is fattening and good, and she is smart enough to turn that talent into a commercial empire. But that's it! She is not a transforming leader. She is not a character model. She is not a change-agent, and she is not politically correct. In general, I don't have a problem with political correctness. Name calling is painful, and it's both insensitive and unwise to leave others out. Words can dehumanize people and. as Christians, we are called to be fully human- to see Christ as he lives in others. Thus, as a Christian minister, I stand against dehumanizing labels, but I also stand against the mob that shouts, "Crucify him, crucify him."

And I take umbrage with those who pick up their rocks to stone a person who is no more a sinner than they are.  Let's get an apology, let the legal action that gave birth to this frenzy take its course, and use this moment as an opportunity to grow together!  Both Christian ethics and common sense demand it.

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