If I know who and whose I am- I mean really “know”- I will be far more likely to remain faithful… and far less likely to get “caught off-guard,” or to chase a shiny object as it rolls toward a sewer. For the longest time I didn’t know who or whose I was. In a word, I was “lost.” So I gave myself over to alcohol and spent years wandering in a desert. I had values of course, and sometimes I lived as if I did. I saw myself as a “good person” down deep, but I wasn’t sure what that meant. I wanted to be liked and I wanted to be “somebody.” So, I just drifted along, like a bobber, for the longest time.
I remember a cartoon that depicted a well-dressed man and woman kneeling before an altar that had a huge dollar sign on the throne… and one of them turned to the other and said, “I was happier when we were Presbyterian.” Indeed, but we are tempted to worship things that appeal to us and promise to make us somebody worth knowing. Some people fall in love with alcohol or other drugs, and can’t even fathom a good time without them; other people have the same intense passion for chocolate, or sex, or just pleasing others, but money seems to be God’s biggest competitor for worship. Follow the money, it is said, if you wonder what you are worshiping. In the 12 Step world (and I just had my 47th Birthday), we ask ourselves questions like these: 1) who/what do I absolutely need in my life? 2) When I’m down and out, feeling depressed and defeated, who/what do I need for comfort and support? 3) Who/what do I need to give me courage and calm my nerves? 4) If I have something to celebrate, if I’m looking for a really good time, who/what do I need to be there? 5) And when someone asks, “who are you?” do you stumble for an answer, equivocate, or say, “I’m a child of God?”
To me, it’s surprising that a golden calf even crossed Aaron’s mind when the people became impatient. It’s sad enough that people who had experienced the wonder and power of God… would abandon God so quickly, but it is incredible that Aaron wanted to please the people more than he wanted to please God. Aaron knew better. Surely he knew better, but when the people cried for a god who would lead them to the promised land, Aaron fashioned a golden calf out of their jewelry. Instead of rising in defense of a God who had already shown his compassion and his power, Aaron invited the people to bring him their jewelry and after he had fashioned a golden calf, Aaron proclaimed “this golden calf is your god.” You can trust in him. Let us celebrate the golden calf, and they did because people are inclined to worship tangible symbols of things that are too big for them!
The golden calf seems ridiculous, but our own world is filled with golden calves isn’t it? Ask yourself these questions: 1) whom or what do I love so deeply that I can’t imagine living without? 2) What thing or things would I never do, not even to save my life? 3) What sins, if any, are out of the question for me- impossible under any condition? 4) Who is your God? 5) Who do you trust with your fears, your doubts, and your identity, today and forever? 6) Or are you clinging to a golden lamb, for as long as you can? 6) Are you a God-pleaser, or a people-pleaser? 7) In whom will you finally rest? 8) what is my work while I am here on earth? These are good questions and they cannot be answered if we don’t know the difference between Almighty God and a golden calf! Amen!
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