At the outset of my journey as a Christian, my advisor told me that I should NOT become a pastor if I could do anything else and still be happy. She told me that being a pastor was not a job that was interchangeable with other jobs, but a way of life that would either fulfill or consume a person. Don't do it, she said, if you can do anything else, but IF being a pastor is what you are called to be... you must do it! A painter must paint, a singer must sing, and a pastor must preach. This is what I believed as my wife and I left the business world and headed off for seminary... and now that I have 'retired," I believe it all the more. Being a pastor was a source of great joy for me. I loved the preaching of course and the teaching too... but my greatest blessings came from the deeply personal and sacred moments that I was blessed to share with so many people. Looking back. I remember Isabelle Whitley. She was the first person whom I had ever seen die. She liked me (mostly because I was the "other" pastor) and her family told me that she waited for me to arrive before she died. Her family, I think, thought that I had been trained for such moments, but all I did was show up and be present in her sacred hour. I remember, too, the many, many friends who let me share their pain and their hope as they (or their loved one) faced trials and death itself. Imperfectly for sure, I began to see that loving one another was what it was all about. Sharing joys, sharing dreams, sharing work, sharing stories, sharing tears- doing these things vulnerably and in Christ's name- was what it meant to be a Christian and a pastor. There were titles that came with the job- like Reverend and Doctor- and I admit that they had a ring to them... but the greatest title for me was "pastor."
But time flies, as they say, and I'm retired now. I am no longer a pastor and I find myself looking for something to do, or more honestly, for something TO BE... because somewhere along the line, my work and my identity became intertwined. And so my life seems emptier now that I'm not preaching or teaching. I confess that that's the way it feels... but God continues to bless me with opportunities to serve and represent him in many different ways. Nearly every day, I have the opportunity affirm, stand with, listen to, and love another person in his name. Nearly every day, I have the opportunity to share what I know about the Bible in the way that I treat others, and nearly every day, I am given the privilege of giving a "sermon" to someone in need of God's word. In short, my ministry is still going on... and God is still blessing me with opportunities to share sacred moments with others. For instance, just a few days ago, I was able to spend time with some dear friends from the Quad Cities and also with a man with whom I had shared a ministry and a dream. I hadn't seen him for years and the moments we share together gave me great joy! Later, God gave me the opportunity to share a moment after church with a man who needed to be listened to. He was just a man who sat in the pew next to me, but he had shared enough of his pain to touch my heart. So, when church ended, I asked him if he wanted to join me for a cup of coffee and he gladly accepted. He talked for well over a hour and I was blessed when we parted. I was glad that I reached out! And then, just a day or so ago, I was blessed to attend a funeral service for a woman whom I knew and loved. Her husband is a friend of mine and I don't believe I've ever seen anyone in greater grief. He's a man of faith, but his heart was entirely broken... and before he left the sanctuary, I was able to tell him that my wife and I loved him. I had nothing official to do with the funeral service... but telling him that we loved him was enough.
I've struggled to stay involved in ministry since I've "retired" because what I did seemed so meaningful to me. I've been anxious about it and a little bit lost. But there's a very real sense in which I am not retired at all because I am still a "minister" and will be until the day I die. We are all ministers, aren't we... because there are legions of people who need to be loved and who need to hear that Jesus loves them. We're all ministers, or at least we could be, because there are people all around us who need to hear God's word and who need to experience God's non-judgmental and empowering love! There is work to do. Work for Christ. Work for you and for me to do. Look around and see all of the dry bones surrounding you. Tell them that, in God's hands, they can rise to their feet and be a blessing to someone else. Tell them that there is no telling what God can do. Tell them that God is not through with them yet. Tell them that they are created in God's image. Be Christ to them. That's what ministers do... and I couldn't retire from that- never- not even if I wanted to!
I'm still a minister and I still have work to do. So, I had better get at it, Thanks for listening.
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