I WILL NEVER SEE TOMORROW

      Let me confess it- I am not very good at "being in the present." In fact, I'm not very good at any sort of quiet time because my mind wanders. I mean to do better than I do, but invariably, I find myself thinking about family, world events, and/or the Cubs. Some people have suggested that I drink too much caffeine; others have labeled me ADHD. Some people suggest that it's because I am Type A, or ENFJ, or just because I am not trying hard enough.
      It could be any or all of these of course, but I've always found it difficult to be in the moment. I've always struggled with a past I cannot change, and there are times when I let this "dead time" affect my present life. Carrying the past on my back has been an issue in my life, but there have also been times when I've squandered opportunities by putting them off until tomorrow.  Living in the past has been a bigger problem for me than living in the future, but I'm not a stranger to either temptation, which is why I continue to work on being "in the now."
      Every day, I walk our poodle around a wonderful little pond near our home. We walk through a path that is flanked by cornfields on the west and natural grasses on the east. and when I really try... to let go of my labels and my projections...  I'm able to clear my mind of all thoughts. Yes, it is possible- even for me- to let go of my regrets, my worries, and my thoughts... and just allow myself "to be." I'm not good at much that is "inner" or "mystic," but when I clear my mind on these walks... I am able to hear the songs that the birds sing and to identify with the wind as it blows through the trees and the aforementioned natural grasses. The ducks scurry and quack as we startle them, birds scold us for walking through their sacred space, and our little piece of creation seems to celebrate its life! All of this fills my spirit and I feel at one with my God and his creation.
      It is a wonderful thing... but it ends in time and sometimes during the walk itself. My mind wanders to things that have bothered me in the past or to events that threaten my future. I come back to earth, which is fine because I have work to do! However, I will continue to seek freedom from thoughts that would imprison me, whether they emanate from past regrets or future worries... because Christ has urged me to leave my sins at the foot of his cross and to trust in him entirely for the future.  Spiritual discipline is a good and empowering thing and simply being "present" to God's creation is powerful for me. At the very least. it reminds me that today is the only day I will ever have! Indeed, I will never re-live a single day of my past, and what is more- I will never live to see a single tomorrow! Amen.