WRESTLING WITH GOD

      Ya'akov (Jacob) was an unlikely choice in the first place. God must have had his reasons for choosing him- one must accept that- but they are mysterious indeed. Jacob, whose name means "heel-grabber or supplanter," was the youngest of Isaac's twins, and he was his mother's favorite. Esau appeared first in the world, and he became a "man's man," hunting for his food and living off the land. Isaac, on the other hand, hung around the kitchen and helped his mother with domestic duties. The boys marched to different drummers and their parents took sides (as Biblical parents often did). Isaac loved Esau and Rebekah loved Jacob. However, it was a man's world back then, and Issac would've given all that he had to Esau... if it were not for Jacob and Rebekah's deception. They schemed to defraud Esau of his blessing, and they pulled their plan off. However, Esau was enraged and planned to kill Jacob after his father died, which gave Jacob cause flee to his uncle Laban's place... where he stayed in hiding and worked as a sheepherder for years. It was time for hiding and it was a time for work, but it was also a time for blessings. Jacob married Laban/s daughters- Leah (whom he was tricked into marrying) and Rachel (whom he loved dearly)- and he had children by both of them (and their hand maidens). He also amassed considerable wealth. Still, he longed for home, and he knew that he must go there, no matter the cost. So, he set out for home, fearing Esau's wrath at every turn.
      Ya'akov prayed for God's protection, divided his belongings into two groups, and sent his wives and children away. Then... he laid down by the wadi Jabbok. It was dark- pitch dark- and he was alone- completely alone. He had acquired a lot of material goods. He had two wives and several sons. He had a birthright and a blessing... but he didn't have peace! He didn't have peace of mind, or peace with his brother, or peace with his God. And he didn't have peace with himself. He knew how to bargain and he knew how to look out for "number one," but of shalom he knew nothing at all. He didn't know who he was and who he ought to become. So, he laid in the darkness and took stock of it all... when suddenly, he was blind-sided by an intruder... and the match was on! It must have been quite a sight- two men rolling around on the desert floor... grabbing, punching, kicking... all in an effort to subdue the other. "Say uncle." "No, I won't. You say it." "No way." And so it went... until daybreak. Finally, Jacob's assailant struck him in the hip and threw it out of place. The outcome of the match was no longer in doubt... but Jacob would NOT let go. The "heel-grabber" would not let go. He was determined to receive a blessing from the intruder, and he persisted. He may not win the match, but he would not give up!

      "I will not let go until you give me a blessing." That's what he said, and he was given one! A new name! A new identity. From now on, his adversary noted, you will be known as Israel... because you have striven with God and humans. You have done business with the living God, and within that struggle... you have found your own identity. Israel had a new name, but he had the same bold mannerisms. "Please tell me your name," he asked, knowing that- in his day- a person's name was a window to his or her soul. Moses would later ask God for his name, but that was later and this was not Moses- so Israel's request went unanswered. However, when morning came, he knew that he had struggled with God... and lived. So he named the place where the match occurred, "Peniel,"... and he limped across the Jabbok with a new name, moving toward reconciliation with his brother and a deeper understanding of himself, his purpose, and his God!  

      Peniel. Wrestling with God. Do we ever know ourselves until we've wrestled with the Living God? Can we ever get a new name unless we receive it in this struggle? How far can we run? How long can we hide? How often can we pretend that we aren't scared to death of dying? How long will we put up with being a "supplanter or a heel-grabber," when God offers a life of purpose... and a new name? Coming to grips with our deepest self will require a struggle with the Giver of New Names. We'll never find it by running, hiding and living by our wits.  Let those who have ears, hear!