This is Saturday, October 19, and Sherry is taking a nap on our couch. Since she has Multiple Myeloma, she takes frequent naps... but she looks especially at peace today. Yesterday was her 68th birthday, and it was a good day for her. She heard from her "kids," and received a lot of cards and FB messages. I earned some points with the card I selected, not to mention the candy and a nice dinner at a new Indian restaurant in town.
I had coffee and lamb. She had wine and chicken, and we talked about her journey with cancer. It was on October 6, 2002, when our family physician in Peoria sent her to a specialist because her blood counts were startling to him. Well, as it turned out, he had reason to be concerned, and on election day, Sherry received a phone call from the specialist. "You have an incurable blood cancer," he said, "and you must see an Oncologist asap." This is what she heard in the early afternoon, but she didn't tell me until I picked her up from work... and then I fell apart! I really did. It was as if her news sobered me up, although I had not enjoyed a drink in years. I had lost my father and my youngest brother; I'd been in and out of a treatment center; I had seen marital counselors and family counselors; I had done enough sinning and enough praying to know both sides of the street... and I am proud to say that I handled (or took) it all... like a man... but when I was told that my wife had just received a death sentence, I fell to pieces.
I looked up Multiple Myeloma online, and saw that the median life expectancy was 1-3 years (it's much higher now). I made it a goal to find a specialist for Sherry, and I did. That was 11 years ago, and I am writing these words as she sleeps. We've been married since August, 1967, and it seems so far away now. Sherry had no way of knowing that I was not prepared for marriage at the time. I had neither seen nor knew much about love, and I was essentially a frightened, immature brat. She put up with this, and she endured all of my tantrums along the way. She was pleased to go with me to Omaha and start a new life, but disappointed to find that life with me was pretty much the same as it had always been. I was driven to become a success in business and frustrated that I had to take out time to run errands and handle family needs. Sherry didn't drive and I was gone 3-6 weeks at a time, and with the needs, fears, guilt, and other pressures, our life together was often tumultuous. Encounters became a way of life, and at times, we both felt trapped in some sort of crazy, dysfunctional dance... but she stayed. She stayed with me and loved our girls. She went to great efforts to get things done, and she did. She even left Omaha (and she loved Omaha) to join me in student housing in Hyde Park. We traded the best of woodwork... for duct tape... and she stayed at my side.
And so it went- from Joliet, to Kalamazoo, to Peoria, to Rock Island- and I am watching her... as she sleeps. Over the years, our family has grown. We have two beautiful daughters, two beautiful granddaughters (I use the word "beautiful" intentionally), and two wonderful little boys. I love each one of these people in ways that words cannot express! But it was Sherry Cox Wick, who had a uphill journey in the first place-who now has cancer and glaucoma, worsening vision and fibromyalgia- who has walked with me... every step of the way! Without Sherry, I certainly would not be a Minister, and there's a high chance that I might not even be here. Without Sherry, I would have lost the very things that make life worth living... and without her fervent and persistent prayers, I would still be lost spiritually. Sherry has been on the Myeloma Chatline for years now, and all of the names that she first saw in that community, save 3, are gone now.
Still, she sleeps on- we will leave for Trivia Night soon- and she continues to teach me that love is a much deeper and more sacred thing than being "in love." Praise God, I have learned this... but I am also beginning to see that you can love someone from the depths of your soul and be "in love" with her... at the very same time! Well, she's awake now. So I will close. I just wanted to say that I have a deep and abiding love for the one I am in love with. Happy Birthday, Sherry!
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